As a 18 year old guy, I have already made terrible decisions but am grateful for finding this community [Life Rant]

I’m so glad to have found this sub reddit, I feel like I found my people! I have had so many terrible experiences in my life already but now I’m glad I had them because the lessons that I learned should help me greatly in the future hopefully.

Coming from an African American family, it has always been implanted in my brain to follow the classic life script (College, Find a girl, Marry, Have kids and slave away). Luckily I was able to witness what an absolute disaster my parents marriage was. Along with that, I had to deal with tremendous amounts of emotional and physical abuse that came with living with dysfunctional parents who only see you as an investment.

Going through all this, I reached the lowest point of my life and ended up catching a criminal charge in shoplifting (Young, dumb, and easily misled). This has mentally hurt me in so many ways, since I know that I have cut off so many opportunities in my life just as it is just truly starting. Regardless it was a good lesson that showed me how your decisions can truly make or break you. Hopefully this mistake doesn’t break me.

Well after I started to heavily think about who I am as a person truly. I found that I am a very simple person who enjoys his free time to do to his liking. I realized that the only thing I want to chase from now on is true happiness. From childhood I always knew I didn’t like children, and though I thought this mindset would change, it has in fact become absolute in my mind.

It was as if I took a step back and looked around and realized how shitty this world can be for you. Having this mindset this early on made me feel like something was wrong with me mentally, but after finding this subreddit and /child free, I feel like I have found the answer to life.

I know that it will be a hard path due to my past mistakes, but at least I know I’m working for me and me only. From dealing with an abusive childhood, I’ve realized that life is too damn short to waste your time dealing with people that drag you down. I also realized that true happiness means the freedom to whatever the hell you want when you want.

I think another big part of helping come to this perspective on life was that I was able to get laid a good amount of times in high school and it showed me that most girls are good for nothing but sex.

Now the only issue that I’m facing now is that I’m literally terrified of getting baby trapped. I am a horny mfer and I know that the odds are stacked against me. So if you have any advice for me, it would be greatly appreciated, as I’m still trying to figure out my life.