I feel like divorce stories should be shared for young MGTOWs or those on the fence. If anything, it helps others prepare for and recognize red flags.

Met my ex when she was a barista/school teacher 10 years ago. We started dating 2 years after - she was going through a divorce at the time to her high school sweetheart who she had “grown apart from”.

A few weeks into dating she randomly broke up with me. I was bummed, thought she was cool, but it was okay. Couple weeks later she came back with “I didn’t think I’d love someone so quickly after my divorce” which I of course believed.

Two weeks later, she’s pregnant. I remember on the way for the official test, I was thinking “if this is positive, I’m marrying her. If negative, breaking up.” She had clear issues - rich but overbearing family, maturity issues, money issues, and mood swings that were just infuriating. It was positive, so plan A.

The marriage was hard, but we were young and making it work was what I’d say. We went through the cycles of “I’m married to my best friend” to “why did I marry this person”.

Gradually I lost friends. She didn’t like my family, so I missed a lot of family time (went to all of hers, many without her). She’d ditch me at gatherings too - usually sticking me with watching our daughter.

Overall though - it didn’t seem bad. Sex life was good, we talked and hung out, and generally things were good.

Then last summer. She had started working as a restaurant manager. It was typical that she’d grab a drink with coworkers after the shift, usually would be home an hour or so after and we could hang out. Sometimes I would fall asleep (daughter in the other room) waiting, but that was okay by me.

So the day before Father’s Day she goes out, I fell asleep waiting, but then woke up at 3 and she wasn’t there. Called, texted, iPhone location search... pinged her phone then she finally called and was angry I did that. I had been concerned about rape, she was mad I interrupted... something. She never explained. Typical gaslighting (oh some friends, just hanging out, lost track of time...). Said it wouldn’t happen again.

Happened again - 3 days later, and the night before my birthday.

And just kept happening. And there was little I could do - my daughter was sleeping in the other room. One night I texted her parents (who lived in the area) and asked them to come over. They called her first, and then she came home and told them not to worry about it.

We went to therapy. She kept staying out. After 2 months I filed for divorce.

Since her family was in the area (and rich), she moved in there. Her parents bought her a house. Which - of all the insults and lies was like, fuck, you’re just enabling this shit.

We did cycles of trying again and considering getting back together - the “I’ve changed” routines. In between those, I dated. It was always younger, usually much more attractive women than my ex (it’s easy when you’re in good shape, in your 30s, have a good job, and all your hair... the bar is seriously low) - when she’d find out was usually when all the charm was turned on.

Divorce is filed now. There’s other fun little things and stories from the experience (this is far too long already), but my main red flags to call out to other potential MGTOWs:

  • Big lies can hide for years
  • If you were thinking about breaking up, break up
  • Do not trust service industry - the temptation and likelihood of cheating is high
  • There is no point of marriage - (especially in a community property state)
  • If it smells like cheating, it is probably cheating. Be prepared in advance for it to happen, and make your plans so your not sleeping on a couch
  • Do not contract oneitis, even for the sake of offspring
  • Cohabitation should be treated like marriage and have an agreement prior (a la John Cena)

Good news so far - no alimony, 50% placement/custody, and while there is child support, it will be negligible and essentially cancelled by the amount I’m paying for her health insurance now.

Next step - a paternity test has been ordered since the time around our pregnancy seems suspicious. Otherwise it’s - pretty much whatever the fuck I want to do, which does include being a good dad.