Sorry, I don't usually do 'vent' posts, but I just need to get this off my chest because even my usual 90 minute lifting session at the gym didn't help tonight and I'm still just SOOOO mad.

Quick background if you haven't seen my past posts - M41 HL, married since 2007 to F40 LL (*with me). We've tried a bunch of stuff to fix the DB - our latest thing as of a few weeks ago is 'opening up' the marriage again (because she can't keep it in her pants with OTHER guys). She didn't waste any time ... picked up a tourist / college boy and had sex with him, didn't come home till the next day.

He gave her a UTI (ha ha asshole serves you right) though not an STI (tests came back clear), so the one time WE'VE had sex (a day or two after) we used a condom (which we didn't previously, and she admitted she didn't with him). Now she's sore (only got antibiotics today) so we haven't had sex for 2 weeks again (our average is once or twice a month anyway).

She almost NEVER dresses 'sexy' for me and in the total 14 years we've been together has only LITERALLY greeted me in a sexy outfit when I got home from work (as opposed to getting into one when sex is being I initiated) a total of THREE times (and only once in the seven years since kids were born).

Tonight she sent me a sexy selfie and was still wearing the sexy dress when I got home. So technically that's the 4th time. Except it turns out it was really (mostly) because she needed to do laundry so had nothing else clean. Also turns out she gave me literally about 2 minutes to get a bit closer and fondle her, before she set me a grocery list to buy. I mean obviously I haven't been SUPER-keen to have sex with her since the college jack ass, but she was in the semi-sexy dress so (if we used protection) I would have been up for it, and I indicated as much.

However to add insult to injury, she reconfirmed she was 'sore... maybe another two weeks'. She CLEARLY had no intention of actual sex all along from the moment she sent the selfie. When I asked if there was anything else she could do for me instead, I was told 'I can watch you get yourself off'.

Thanks... no thanks. I don't really need you for that do I ? It adds nothing to the equation.

THEN her majesty opined 'you know you're going to have to wear condoms when I go down on you from now on' (not that she was offering to go down on me tonight).

What the actual FUCK? She lets random asshole tourists have SEX with her without protection, but just teases me (without putting out) with the one thing she does once in a blue moon although she knows I love it, and then tells me I'M the one who needs to wear a condom when she magnanimously consents to giving me head (whenever that is) even though she's all clear for STIs ? Words (excluding countless profanities) just fail me.

Made my exit quickly to get the groceries because I needed to get the fuck outta Dodge - LLW back in her usual home-greeting 'uniform' of shapeless PJs, watching Netflix and eating some sugary shit when I got back. I went to the gym, powered through a GREAT lifting session (surprise surprise), and now here I am.

Should be pretty clear I'm mad as hell. We're starting couples therapy this weekend. I think this will be an example and a 'talking point' I'll be raising around her sexual indifference to my needs. Grrrrrrrrrr hulk... must.... smash. Now I need to go to bed and cuddle that... rhymes with blunt. Kill me. Just... kill me.

Thanks for the chance to rant. Needed to get THAT poisonous shit off my chest.