I had a conversation with my 11-year old nephew about friendships and life. I didn't want to sugar coat any advice and I wanted to give him some cold facts and insights into the reality of life.

It might seem harsh to give an 11 year old Heraclitus-level type of advice but it's better to plant the seeds of truth at an early stage so that he's prepared to deal with the obstacles and challenges that life can present him.

His parents are divorced and he constantly witnesses shouting bouts between them. So the conversation went something like this...

I walked into his room as he was watching videos on his laptop and I asked him how he was doing and he told me he was feeling down because he got in a fist fight with his friend at school. He told me wasn't going to be friends with him anymore and was sad about it. I asked him if he ever felt lonely and he said "sometimes" and I could see he was holding back tears. He told me he felt lonely when his parents would get into fights. He told me it was a normal thing now and that he was used it. I asked him if he ever talked to someone about it and he said "no". I could now see the tears in corner of his eyes. I told him that it's good to talk to someone about these things so he can let it out because it's not healthy to keep those things inside.

So I proceeded to give him what I thought would be good advice and truth instead of just telling him that everything is going to be ok and blah blah blah...

I told him that friends come and go just like everything in life. That the people he sees as friends in middle school would probably not be his friends in high school and the friends he has in high school won't probably be his friends after high school.

I told him that nothing in life lasts forever and that everything changes. I told him that the fights between his parents will eventually end as well. Friends will come and go etc..

There will be good days and bad days and both will end. I told him to make the best of the good days and when something good comes to him to enjoy it with all his might, so that he has no regrets. At this point he starts crying as he nods in understanding. I told him to remind himself during the bad days that they are temporary so that he can keep stable.

I told him that if he ever needs advice or is feeling down to talk to me but I'm not sure if he would want to do that now (lol). I told him what I thought would help him in the future and not give him that typical comfort "everything is ok" advice.

So then he tells me if he could get some privacy as he's crying and I said "sure" and walked out.

The point of this post was to bring awareness to us that there are many kids out there suffering in silence and that we should not assume that they are ok, even tho they appear to be.

It's always a good thing to ask them about their lives because you'd be surprised of how much shit they carry in their little noggins and how this can affect how their future will play out. These are our men and women of the future. Let's try to steer them in the direction we think it's best for them.