Was a particularly gruelling one. I could not even begin to start on this business model. And lonely. And I must admit that I resent any suggestion that I should help anyone or take care of anyone. Especially a woman, as an act of love. For 2 reasons. The first. No one was magnanimous towards me when I struggled on my own. The second. The law will have no reservations when it comes to relieving me of chunks of my hard won wealth in the event of any litigation or complaint. Yet we are designed as organic beings to need others. Especially women. And one simply cannot turn that need off. Like a switch. To assume you can. Is to delude yourself. So I risk manage that need. Through business and transactional sex which pretends it is not prostitution. Sugar babying. Humans are a deluded species. Love as we know is false. The trick is coming to terms with this and fashioning a life that is as safe as one can devise in a world where men. Whether we like it or not. Exist precariously.