I always had GFs, since my teenager years. I had the next one waiting before I dumped the actual one. With 21 I thought now I found her, yeah my fucking unique unicorn. We lived together for about 2 years, when I got dumped for the first time in my life. Funny thing is that her new boyfriend was my brother, she is my sister in law now.

Yeah, good laugh. All this didn’t lift me up. I started smoking weed daily and played online games 24/7. If I look back now, I wasted the best and I guess most important years in my life, cause I got hurt, especially my ego. I didn’t finish my university, all I did was being high and hanging out in online games and Facebook. 5 years after all this happened I found another unicorn, oh yeah I am a real unicorn hunter. Met her on Facebook. She lived in another country, 500km away. So one day we decided to meet. In one of the first nights she got pregnant.

Since I only saw pink hearts and a glitter unicorn, I said yes to this kid and living together. She moved to me. The kid was born and I was moved to second row. I didn’t exist anymore. I worked all day till evening, came home, I got a dinner (oh yeah back then she still cooked) and she disappeared to the kid. All evening she was next to the kid, I was alone. She slept next to the kid, woke up at midnite and stayed up all nite. I was downgraded to the provider role.

But that didn’t save me to be stupid one more time and she got pregnant again, in one of these 5 nights we had over a whole year. Well for me nothing changed, was already used to be put in a backwater. After second kid was born hell started. She was overextended being a mother to two kids. She started drinking on daily basis and taking drugs. No matter what I said she didn’t stop with it. It got worse and worse. Meanwhile she killed our bank account several times, she overchecked our account in big numbers. I had to refill this family account and was of course missing this money on the other end. That’s when the money discussions started. That she goes working, NO WAY, kids need their mother at home, she said. Still hoping to save all this, because I really love my kids, I kept on believing in the good of her.

She got more and more “unhappy”, translated: more and more pissed that she doesn’t get what she wants and deserves in her eyes. So, she started chatting all nite. Yeah…… One day a parcel came back to our house, she sent to some guy from facebook. Luckily, I received it. Inside was a love letter and a gift. The gift was personal stuff of mine, she sent to some guy. Confronting her with this, just ended in me being too jealous ! All this I needed to realise how toxic this whole thing is for me. I had to make a decision, a very hard one, because of kids. It took me one whole year, to decide.

In the end she made the decision pretty easy. All of a sudden she ran into our garden and was yelling around, so everyone can hear it, that I will never hit her again. Guys, trust me, I did nothing. That was the moment I got healed and knew that I am worth more than this shit. She also told me she won’t change her attitude and she will lead me into suicide. This was in August 2015. She moved with both kids back to her country. I ended up having almost no contact to the lil precious creatures I love the most.

My kids have been very young when they left, 5 and 3 years old. The lil one doesn’t even understand my language, I can’t communicate with her. I see my kids every 2 months and it hurts. She is living from the alimony I pay for the kids and some social money, she still doesn’t work, she is still high most of the time. I am just lucky I never married her or I would be ruined, yeah! laziness paid off one time in my life! Till today I have to travel to her courts, in a country I am not even able to understand the language, and have to negotiate about alimony.

I just want to tell you guys, it is all not worth all this money and pain. Stay away from women till you know what you want, till you found yourself, till you are done with yourself. Yourself is the most important thing in your life, nothing else. And if you find a woman, enjoy the time with the butterflies in your belly and dump her when first shit happens. Its never getting better, it is always getting worse.

Don’t move together and protect for gods sake. Don’t do same shit I did !