Need Help And Advice

re_all · 2018-10-14T15:02:44+00:00

It is not the advice you want to hear.

But... "When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours."

So... take it for as much as you can, for as long as you can.

Also, therapy is not going to help you- ever. If it did, therapists would be more like a volunteer gig. Something you do because you love it. NOT because it is your profession!

Seriously, in my opinion therapists do the same thing as motivational videos. They make you feel better, and they have better manipulation techniques than powerful imagery, audio cues, and emotional force in their voices. That is why "therapy" lasts longer. But it is the same.

MGTOW, at its core tells the man who wishes to listen "You are the prize, you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for."

The unfortunate thing is this; in this day and age of instant-gratification, most people cannot fathom putting in the insane amount of work and the sometimes-decades-long amount of time to hone and refine who you are into what you know you can be.

This is the stumbling block for many MGTOW. Time, effort, energy, dedication. It's not easy.

Acquiring money is easy.

Getting time off work to pursue what you want is insanely difficult.

Putting in the dedication to master a skill- any skill is leagues above getting time that you have for yourself.

Of all the questions you have... Of all the problems you are facing...

There are no answers. Not here, not from MGTOW, nor therapists.

The only thing you can ever present to the question... is not an answer, but a response.

And that response will be the life you live.

So make it a good one.

SgtBrutalisk · 2018-10-14T18:41:17+00:00

Take care of yourself on a daily basis because you can count on nobody else doing it for you. We can't see beyond the next few moments of our present and tend to think the worst but here's what I have taped to the side of my screen. That's my daily motto and I plan to live by it, day by day.

There is something more to your story. Loss of any given person can't do such a thing to a healthy mind. You are where you are because of trauma, prolonged, decades-long neglect and trauma that devastates the mind and numbs the body, creating a callous outer layer that can pretend to be a real person but isn't. In this way trauma detaches "you" from the real You. Nobody cares about You, the world is indifferent to Your suffering because acknowledging Your pain would mean taking responsibility, as small as it is, for Your problems. But the world does care about "you" and is ready to spring into action at a moment's notice whenever "you" make something unseemly.

Now that you know that there's something real, something genuine below the pain, you should use all your sensibilities to nurture the real You back to life and let it enjoy existence, away from trauma and neglect that was in part self-inflicted to make you "a real man" but all it made is a persona, a mask that becomes attached to the face to the point it won't come off. We all have a face we'd like to present to the outside but if the creation of that face is motivated by turbulent emotions it becomes toxic and painful to wear. Through the process of self-care you will become more involved in right now rather than wasting time and energy on imagining potential disasters and gradually take the mask off. At that point life becomes lived, not imagined.

Here's a real example from my life: I used to have pimples on my face that I would scratch. I considered healing those pimples or scratches beneath me and thought that I can't be a real man unless I was hurting because that's what my family taught me. I finally visited a dermatologist a couple months ago and it turned out there's this entire ball of health problems I've been having, with pimples being just an outward symptom; by trying to heal the problem I've started unraveling this clump of self-inflicted discomfort that was making me hostile to people around me and in a bad mood. I haven't told my family about any of this because they would probably mock me for it but I don't care – I'm living a better life.

The best part is that the pimple prescription had me visit a local pharmacy where I met three girls and engaged in such a pleasant and quaint conversation: we laugh, we chat, we tell silly things to each other. This would never be possible with "me", the pained, troubled, angry and hostile "me".

The world doesn't care about You but You can care about "you" and live a happy life right now. The rest is shrouded in impenetrable veil of uncertainty and doesn't concern us.

Vaxel00 · 2018-10-15T02:50:53+00:00

You're a drug addict, facilitated due to unresolved grief.

That's what you want and miss, "the high", which in reality is the reason so many men go full blue pill.

The future you want, the intimacy, "love", all of that was fake. You said it, the cost-benefit doesn't add up. It's not new and it's not just you, it's like that for everyone.

I get it, I felt it before, and it's... intoxicating, but you realize that it's just you who feels that way, that's why I called you a drug addict, because it got nothing to do with the specific woman, you'll feel that way with anyone that gives you the high, in your case it seems that you have a really bad case of oneitis.

I had to accept that as a man, I was born alone, I will live alone and I will die alone.

Title	Need Help And Advice
Author	PrinceofAllSaiyans91
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	October 14, 2018 2:04 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9o2xti/need_help_and_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/need-help-and-advice.475870 https://theredarchive.com/post/475870

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