I have issues with accepting my past and personally and it sucks, I've always expected an wanted myself to be great in whatever way i chose but i know that deep down i don't have to so why stress about it at all especially if i'm living life for me and not anyone else.

I feel like my issue is, is that I'm a vindictive son of of bitch and i want to get really successful just to ignore and rub it in the faces of the people who treated me like trash and less than a human being just to feel the shame and regret of treating me terribly on their faces. Also pump and dump the chicks who ignored me.

This is very dumb and selfish of me i know and i'm trying to get over it but its so hard to shake this voice of revenge in my head. It could also come back to bite me in the ass with false accusations and just people trying to destroy my character because of the success i gain.

I know this sounds really stupid but any advice would be appreciated or if you have similar experiences explain.