Romantic "love" does not exist

martynhare · 2019-07-23T11:30:23+00:00

You're right. Romance describes the processes of doing things in a "Roman way", as in your traditional methods of courtship with sex/marriage merely being a tool to achieve the goal of having children, as that was the norm and later became essentially mandatory (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lex_Papia_Poppaea) for the general public under the Roman Empire. It has to this day been the dominant model because it helps a population survive disease and natural disasters, while ensuring minimal changes to the classical social order. There's no reason why romance has to be the blueprint for the types of love you want to express.

In fact, one could say MGTOW is a rejection of the romantic model in favour of ones own model for expressing love, which can only be a good thing. The romantic model turns out to be one originally designed to keep people under collective control through spreading falsehoods and enacting societal pressure to act a certain way. Ironically, that's something I think even the radical feminists would agree with us on.

However, this doesn't mean passionate, sexually-driven love between two people cannot co-exist with "higher forms" of love. Instead, look at how the Greeks viewed things, they had five major words describing different kinds of love:

philia - "platonic love" or friendship; often referred to as the purest form of love

eros - passionate love fueled by sexual desire, or what some refer to as romance

storge - instinctive love which can't be explained and "just is" (e.g. your family)

agape - love involving self-sacrifice and/or love for people in general (charitable love)

philautia - love for oneself, unconditional self-acceptance; not to be confused with narcissism

These forms of love clearly aren't mutually exclusive. Someone who has children in a monogamous relationship can have an erotic desire driving them to do so, while also expressing instinctive love toward their partner. It would be storge that describes men sticking with their partner, acting as the family bedrock long after their own sexual desires have waned (for example). Likewise, someone can have a bit of a fling with a very close friend, expressing both friendship and erotic love simultaneously - they are no less friends than before.

Take the extreme. Two extremely charitable people who work closely together could become friends through a shared cause, then become passionately attracted to one another over a long period of close contact, have children and remain together as a family unit. Is it likely? Absolutely not. Is it possible, yes!

Dmapguy · 2019-07-23T12:22:16+00:00

Thank you for this. Men got too caught up in romanticism and it ruined us.

GuntherVonHairyballs · 2019-07-23T15:44:18+00:00

I think this is a big part of why women are so screwed up. From little girls they are taught to seek and give love. Since love=sex all women grow up as sluts.

[deleted] · 2019-07-23T15:21:38+00:00

LTSD Long term stupid dummy

BastaHR · 2019-07-23T16:05:15+00:00

There is lust, in love, and love.

Kratz177 · 2019-07-23T16:50:47+00:00

100% is a myth for the weak minded men.

bamabeatsny · 2019-07-24T12:42:06+00:00

I disagree completely.

Having been in a marriage for over 20 years, and then a LTR for 3 years.

They do co-exist. For the man.

Not for the woman.

Title	Romantic "love" does not exist
Author	Darth_Rodrigo
Upvotes	72
Comments	12
Date	July 23, 2019 10:25 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/cgquc7/romantic_love_does_not_exist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/romantic-love-does-not-exist.417294 https://theredarchive.com/post/417294

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