Random PSA if you’re running low on toilet paper and can’t find any during the Coronavirus hysteria:

Buy Metamucil* (not Citrocel or Benefiber) and baby wipes.

Take 1/2 to 1 teaspoon of Metamucil in 8-12+ ounces of water a day to start out. Within 1-3 days, your poops should start forming beautifully as they exit your body. You can up your dose to 1-3 teaspoons a day. Overall, this will leave you with only needing to wipe 1-2 times per BM. Baby wipes will fit this scenario perfectly and actually clean your chocolate starfish while toilet paper just moves crap around (pun not intended).

An example of the toilet paper vs baby wipes scenario would be to drop some slightly melted chocolate on a wooden floor. Use toilet paper to clean it up. Notice how it doesn’t actually clean the area. Now do the same thing but use baby wipes. Notice how clean the area actually is.

This has been a friendly PSA.

Edit: Don’t flush baby wipes down the toilet. Even if the package says “flushable”, that doesn’t mean they will break up and flow gracefully down the drain.

*No,increasing fruit and vegetable intake won’t work the same way. The main ingredient in Metamucil is psyllium husk. It is a natural fiber that works magic on the digestive system for some odd reason.