I’ve been lurking on this subreddit for quite a while now, and it’s helped me gain the confidence I need to stop basing my self-worth on what women think of me. Thank you.

I’ve been single for over 6 years now, and I haven’t had sex in over 3. The last woman I had sex with is the most horrifically vile person I have ever met in my entire life, and sadly that wasn’t enough to get me to stop right away.

Like the rest of you, I was socially conditioned into thinking I “need” a relationship, which is a load of horseshit. I have better ways to spend my time. Video games don’t let me down. I’m also in a grad program in a booming STEM field. If I get into the PhD program, I can research something I’m passionate about and reach a level of self-fulfillment I’ve never had before.

Last night, I think I made a major breakthrough. I rebuffed a woman’s advances. I was at a local bar at a semi-regular event where they play goth/industrial music, and I was sitting at the bar enjoying the music with my beer. A woman (pretty average-looking, probably younger than me) comes and sits next to me and asks “what are you drinking?”

“I don’t know. The guy with the beard just gave it to me” (which was true)

“If you had to guess, which one do you think it is?”

“Probably X.”

“I like really hoppy beers! I also like porters and stouts if…” (I can’t remember the rest)

I just said “Ah” and started taking a sip, and she said “Well… enjoy….”. I just nodded and she walked away.

I probably could have asked her to dance and gotten her number, but I didn’t. Old me would have been curious to “see where things go”. Current me knows that’s like being curious about putting your hand on a hot stove.

Currently I’m trying to purge myself of sexual desire. Short of cutting off my balls, that’s not an easy task. Recently I decided to turn masturbation into some mundane thing like going to the bathroom. I don’t make it a ritual anymore. I stopped watching porn and “edging” like I used to do, and my sex drive has dropped like a rock. Hopefully this can help some of you who are in the same situation.