Fellow MGTOW, many personal stories(including mine) speak of dreams that are pursued. I would say that to each man, one pursuit. They succeed, or they don't. They usually make us reach our ultimate goals. But there is more to it than we usually think.

Men in their very young age observe the world, learn its cogwheels, and try to figure out what really decides who/what has the say in this world. Understanding that generates desire in our minds, thus becoming a project. That speaks so much to men, because we are capable of sacrificing amazing amounts of time into that said project.

What's the end game ? Of course it relates to success, but it also speaks of approval, or recognition. You want to leave your print in the world. All men, deep down, have that sentiment within them. It also often relates to the impression it will have on other people.

The examples are various ; rather it is becoming the best sharpshooter the West has ever seen, or becoming a mastermind at chess, you name it. In my case, one of my dreams was being able to drive my own car.

I come from a very poor background. My mom and dad worked their nails off to provide us with what they could, bless their souls. So I was poor to the level where my parents couldn't afford any luxury for me, and having a car was definitely one of them. The only thing that could make me reach that goal was myself and my work. I started working after school, working during holidays, summer, you name it. I did all the jobs under the sun. I remember to this day, my friends calling me to a party or just to have some fun, and I was forced to refuse. Throughout my money earning ordeal, I had to pay some stuff for my parents, which slowed down my pursuit. But I did that with pleasure : in so many other occasions I could've spent my earnings on parties and other leisures, but remembering the reality of my life stopped me from doing it. When you have nothing, it's easy to content yourself with very little. But again, my dream spoke higher. My friends thought I was a massive buzzkill.... « the fuck you work so hard for ??? ». I worked like that for almost 4 years.

The day finally came. I bought my first affordable car, and in my eyes it was a beauty. The problem was that, in my pea-size mind, I thought everybody around me would feel the same about it. I had to face the reality of the world, my car was a piece of shit, and I became the laughing stock of the people around me. In their eyes, the quality of the car was intimately linked to the quality of my choices. My car was not subject to envy, nor did it have the effect I was expecting. At the age of 19, it hit me so hard, that I almost felt like getting rid of my car. All that expected approval and recognition did not come.

Thinking back about all this, I realise that this is a very common story to all of us. But what is also very common, is that, along the way, we lose sight of the important things regarding our pursuits. The path that we took, the sacrifices that we made. The end game is just a consequence, but the pursuit itself forges men and human beings since the beginning of time.

Taking my shitty,old piece of shit car on hot summer friday evenings on a ride is a feeling that resides within me and speaks to me. I would blast that car( an overly used golf GTI 1987 for the car lovers!) into the horizon, with no particular destination in mind, and feel the utter pleasure of having a portion of freedom with something I earned on my own. This was the only reason I never got rid of the car. It was a shitty car, but it was my car. Nobody could take that from me.It is also this feeling that has pushed me into having new goals and pursuing them throughout my life.

Ultimately, every man should understand the importance of this, and how it's not linked to anything material. This sense of fulfilment that only you can feel about something you desired, pursued and eventually obtained. Forget the approval of others(as young men look for approval of women), and enjoy the path, the pursuit. Going after your desires is going after your manhood(as cheesy as it may seem). This works at every moment of your life, young or old.

Embrace the « shitty car » feeling, and going your own way will be the most liberating thing you'll ever do. You may not always succeed, but going after those feelings are what we were born to do. More than ever, this feeling is very powerful to have, in the midst of so much search of approval(especially by men from women).

Ultimately, you're the only one who will truly cherish that struggle. Nobody will take it from you. It will become your most powerful weapon.