Be brutal and honest guys (except race, not trying to hear that ish)

I'm a black man (not pure im mocha) not ugly (I rate myself a 7 in looks cause I do get attention from all races but i'm 5'6" with a muscular physique)

I have Master's Degree In Business

67K in debt (student loans I will pay off) (Born poor)

I live with my mother, her poor planning for the future and somewhat needs help from me.

Im a virgin and never been kiss on the lips (no game whatsoever at the time)

Became Redpilled at 28 years old and now Im 29 years (going through episodes of depression here and there but now Im somewhat MGTOW and getting to the acceptance phase of it)

I resent not knowing this information at a younger age but it is what it is, Im here for advise, I use to frequent instagram in my blue pilled days and grew a infatuation for the IG model Yovanna Venture and realized i have oneitis(Got damn she's beautiful) I dont look at instagram no more. I have jacked off to numerous porn to generate the abundance mentally since all I do is work my corp job but I cant get this girl out of my mind. And the sad part is that I can feel the hurt in my soul that I cant have this chick or a chick like her in the blue pilled sense(aka a nawalt) and now the red pilled sense (aka awalt). Being that I am a virgin, should I just save up, travel to thailand or brazil to get it out of my system because I have been lying for years about having girlfriends and being experienced with women.

What is your advise and how can I finally destroy the nawalt image in my mind of Yovanna as well; because then, I believe I will be finally free of the ever elusive nawalt I have always tried to catch.

Please be brutal!