I've been thinking and its changed my perspective about MGTOW, theredpill, and the manosphere as a whole.

First, I am not a feminist and I will never believe in feminism. Never again. Second, I think there's a lesson to learn here, that if a woman wants, she can have dick for breakfast lunch and dinner [while some women and men may think of that as power, it really isn't]. For that, we ought to curb ourselves. We all like attractive women, and there will be no shortage of divorce or heartbreak in the world. But, there are people in the world that are justifying fucking animals now. They call it love. Is that what I'm supposed to believe? That sex equals love? I love my neighbors but I don't fuck em.

This manosphere escapade of mine was to catch myself from falling. It's opened my eyes as to where I stand in regards to social acuity.

Being bullied was a terrible thing, but the worst part was not having the tools to defend myself. I could not talk back, and when the guys hurled insults at me, the girls just piled on. I didn't even know how to respond. I blame my father, for yelling at me until I stopped thinking and stopped taking initiative. He didn't sit with me and talk to me ever, and that's the issue. Women have taken us away from our fathers, and we need fathers to raise men.

I think women will always be women. They'll tell us we're not man enough, or they'll laugh the size of our dicks. They're women. I don't excuse their behavior. But we have our issues too. Men will always be men.

I've been growing more and more despotic recently and while I believe that's a good thing [I'm defending myself better, and feeling more secure in my skin], I believe that's the wrong way to go about doing things.

Women have fucked us over with their "Stare-rape" or "reverse rape" bullshit, and in the divorce courts, and by cheating on us and ending our marriages and lying to us.

I can't live with this fire inside of me. Life is about balance. The day is not like the night and the night is not like the day. I'd venture to say that more than a handful of us are socially awkward and don't have the acumen to be interesting or hold a conversation. Not all of us. But there are some men using the manosphere as a crutch. A second string. To fall back on and feel a sort of brotherhood.

We've no more rites of passage into manhood and we are walking around not knowing what we are looking for. Running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.

And that's what needs to change. At the end of the day, this is about our place in the world. And I am not right with "going my own way," if that means I have to abandon my birthright.

The problem is, the culture has become so overwhelmingly... sick. Sex is everywhere, little children shouldn't be sitting with trannies learning their twisted views on what "gender" is. Women shouldn't insist on going into men's spaces because they want to fight "misogyny." You can't not give men their space. We aren't zoo animals.

Fucking hell. Even zoo animals show signs of depression when they are locked up. Its torture.

Rape is rape and it is evil. Stare rape is not a thing, reverse rape, where a guy refuses to have sex with you is not a thing. Women are not the only ones that can be raped. That antiquated definition needs to be erased from our culture. It's like the Holocaust, say it with me, Never again!

I'm glad I found this place. It's shown me how women work, but it lacks self-reflection, even though this place came about because of men's self-reflection. Men and women are utterly different. And we have to be different. So that when one meets the other, its a breath of fresh air and life is exciting.

I don't think I've put my thoughts in words entirely, a lot of it may be word-vomit. But, I'll keep improving myself and maybe one day, I can truly say, I truly went my own way.