I’ve really taken the advice I’ve recieved from y’all to heart and I know I’m feeling and doing better in my life but now it’s like I can’t be happy.

Everyday high school fucking sucks. I have to be there with people I don’t like and very few like me due to a false allegation in the past. It’s getting colder out and it’s harder to do outdoor running. (Something I really enjoy) My home life is meh at best. It’s like I don’t have a dad. He’s such a beta bitch who bends over backwards for my mom who is a nutcase and verbally abuses him. She’s screamed it’s a loveless marriage and that she hates him. She cries at random and acts like a victim. Because of my parents I vow to never get married like they did.

It’s also college apps season. I think they’re supposed to be due on Nov 1st? It’s hard to know, do they have to be due that day? Does it make a difference if they are submitted a bit afterwards? If anyone knows this would help me a lot.

I also have no motivation to write my essay. I know what I want in life but I can’t force myself to work. I think I need to get out of this bad situation and go to college and start a business and go live life to the fullest.

I have a decent plan, I am incredibly lucky to have found MGTOW at my age, I live in the greatest country on earth, but still I’m unhappy bordering on what I feel is serious depression.

I act all happy everyday but I feel cold on the inside. The last time I felt alive was in Turks and Caicos far away from my family clubbing with some dudes.

I don’t know what to do. How can I raise myself up? Please help.