Benn MGTOW before I even knew it had a snazzy acronym to describe my lifestyle. 45, full monk mode, basically live as off the grid as you can while still living on it, if you know what I mean.

Don't socialize much except with my kids, and catch with friends once a month or so. Last relationship was nearly a decade ago, which left me with no real interest in pursuing another. Usual messy breakup with her basically throwing me so far under the bus I still have tread marks from the opposite side's tyres. Have been more than content just doing my thing, and always have more projects on the go than I can manage - part of the last breakup put me in a position where I was so stressed I had a seizure, shattered both of my shoulders and only have about 30-40% movement on both arms.

Background out of the way, now to the current issue. I can live my days happily doing what I do, but for the last two months, I've been having these incredibly emotional dreams. Not going into details (as there's nothing more boring than someone saying 'hey, let me tell you about this dream I had last night), but the overarching theme is being deeply and romantically connected to someone, usually (but not always) my ex. The odd dream like that here and there is par for the course, but every fucking night for a couple of months? It actually becomes depressing. Very hard to get motivated for the day when trying to shake the images out of the head. I don't feel lonely, don't want to be involved with someone on that level, but apparently my fucking brain has other ideas. Starting to feel like a dual personality, and it's getting to the stage I don't want to sleep cos I'm over trying to nut this shit out.

Anyone had something similar? General thoughts?