(Long read, long paragraphs) Overview: I'm in a relationship, but I don't feel good about it and I would don't know what to do. My friends sayin' to power through, although I want to hear something from the other side of the coin. (To evaluate my situation better.

More in depth: Well first I'm not sure how accepting MGTOW is towards trans men, (or a very masculine woman who wants a phalloplasty and breast reduction, whatever you accept), but I'm a minor in high school in a relationship, and I'm not sure what to do.

Before I dated her, I felt true to myself, I flirted with my friends (I weren't leading them on, it was a mutual understanding) and I was enveloped in my interests, hobbies, schoolwork, and after school activites. Literally like any other kid.

After, well, im not gonna lie and say it was nothing but awful, i did feel more stable, beforehand I asked out a guy I liked and got rejected, and I just felt like shit about my looks and whatnot, many months later, was in a play, was close with a crew member, and boom, relationship, and I had more confidence. It's my first relationship, so maybe my complaints are because I just have unrealistc expectations, but:

she's just so clingy and makes me uncomfortable with affection, I know I sound like a brat, but I hate being touched, and I feel like a dick for being unable to return affection, I'm just not that kind of guy, it makes me want to burn my skin off, and she just makes me feel so emasculated, and I would be fine if it weren't the fact I literally have issues regarding my consciousness on my own masculinity/unwanted femininity. (I know it's not the end if the world, but I just can't stand it) and she kept putting me in uncomfortable situations, like this one time I was just chillin' with some dudes, talking about our performances (other schools competing in speech; forensics), and my girlfriend was like, "I bet dude across me likes you" and that just made the whole thing awkward like, what the hell mans, she also did the same thing like "oh, you have a new girlfriend?" Of course she was joking, but i was talking to my pal and it just made it embarrassing for me. I have a hard time making pals and she just makes socializing worse for me. And public affection, I just hate it, it makes me so anxious (I'm not out, so it looks like a girl x girl relationship, and I'm afraid of publicity of that, basically I'm paranoid). I feel so restricted, and it's not even that bad compared to what most people experienced.

I can't talk about it to her, I'm awful at standing up for myself (besides physically), Maybe Im just not ready or mature enough for a relationship, but for gods sake I'm 16 and I've seen kids half my age together, maybe I'm just a victim of society's expectations of needing a relationship? But then again I enjoy the idea of romance. Maybe I'm just a shithead who needs to get off my high horse and deal with it and stop being cold hearted. I don't know.

I'm not going to break up with her, I'm not going to make her feel bad just because I feel like it, I just want to do my own thing without being constantly bothered from my tasks, lesser, or feel shitty when I talk/platonically flirt with pals.

Anyway, any advice? Sorry for the long read.