~ archived since 2018 ~

Modern dating chaos

May 12, 2023

This has been on my mind a good deal lately. I have seen so many posts on Reddit, Instagram Snapchat etc of women just constantly getting attention validation from hordes of desperate men. I’m talking average 5s getting drowned in hearts, messages etc. Don’t think this is just bashing women though; I don’t doubt if somehow the switch got flipped and shirtless dad bod guys were getting buried in messages by desperate women they would behave any better.

The point remains though; with the way things are going, I seriously question where we will be in 20 years. Divorce rates have skyrocketed the past few years to the point that marriage is becoming a thing of the past (which is fine just pointing it out). Many relationships I’ve observed in my friends and family group the past few years have crumbled quickly. In general both genders seem to be significantly less happy, and lots of people on both sides are just giving up. I think with both sides getting their pseudo needs met (woman getting attention from social media and men receiving visual gratification from pornography) it is leading to people being far more nitpicky in relationships, much less likely to try and work it out when there are seemingly so many other options available.

What are your thoughts on the matter?

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Post Information
Title Modern dating chaos
Author ZulutheZebra
Upvotes 18
Comments 4
Date May 12, 2023 5:07 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]ForGrowingStuff [score hidden]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've been reading a lot of books behind the psychology of relationships. Right now I'm reading The Myth of Normal, and it makes a lot of sense when it says our culture these days is toxic to the human psyche that has evolved. The system changed so drastically and we really aren't prepared for it. There's too much extra stuff going on and not enough relaxation and introspection. As a result few people are really focused on the type of person they are much less how others around them are. It's lead to a lot of people just being out of touch with how we evolved to be and it's damaging.

I think that men have a little bit of an advantage in this because we aren't drowning in attention, so we are able to take a step back and figure out how to improve. Women on the other hand have a line of men waiting for their turn, and are backed by hordes of people telling them they are perfect just the way they are. I'm trying to be a better person and seek out more people that live the way I do and want to. My friend says it sucks because you weed out a lot of people that you probably really care about, but eventually you'll find yourself among the good people you really enjoy and want to be around. I hope he's right.

[–]ZulutheZebra[S] [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s an excellent point of view I hadn’t considered before. It’s easy to look at the women being fawned over 24/7 with often little effort on their part and feel disgruntled at times when men have such a blunt performance burden, but at least we never get blindsided by the whole affair. Men know from very early on exactly exactly what our shortcomings are and what is expected, whereas I can see how being told 24/7 how perfect you are would lead to a horrible situation as you “age out” and inevitably get tossed to the side.

[–]Louis_Litt_esq 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

May be selection bias, but be a good man. It will set you apart from the rest. From the stories I read from women on Reddit, it shouldn't be difficult to rise to the top. I am partnered up with an amazing woman, still deeply in love 5 years later (1 yr married), and I don't have any of the traits women complain about. It seems very easy to be part of the 10-20% that are getting the action.

[–]ZulutheZebra[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well I don’t necessarily agree that it’s easy to be the top 10-20 percent but I can’t argue with your results haha. Congrats on meeting a quality lady, hope you two are happy for a lot of years to come.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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