In this nanoessay I discuss some experiences of men seeking help in Modern Western Society. I also discuss an idea for men's Support Groups. In modern society, many men suffer severe discrimination, hate, and abuse. Many other men suffer Mental Disability and other conditions unrelated to misandry. Some suffer both.

I personally have never been abused, but I do have a moderately severe disability. It is a combination of Autism and Depression. My diagnosis is high functioning autistic. My Disability impairs my life in many ways, but it is also an important part of my identity. One of my main problems is Social Isolation, since I do not drive a car and do not have a regular job. I miss the male friends I had as a university student in 1990s. None of them were MRAs, but they readily accepted most of my ideas on gender issues. I talked to them about many issues with gender related topics being about 20% of our conversation. Talking only about these topics can be depressing. On the other hand a "friend" who would not talk on these controversial issues is not a friend -- I would feel more lonely with them then by myself.

Men's unwillingness to seek help is considered an aspect of Toxic Masculinity by many feminists and Society at large. When men do seek help, their experiences usually reinforce the unwillingness. Male victims of Domestic Violence have worst help seeking experiences. According to a study presented in "Can Male Victims of Domestic Violence Get the Help They Need?" by Dr. Denise A. Hines, when male victims of DV called the police, the female abuser was arrested in 17% of cases, the male help seeker was arrested in 26% of cases, while both partners were arrested in 8% of cases. A male victim of Domestic Violence who seeks help in USA is likely to be arrested and convicted. In Australia most help lines have a policy of dealing with men who mention being abused. The line contacts the alleged abuser, asks for her side of the story, and then report only her side of the story to the Police.

Men who seek help for other problems such as Mental Disability and Social Isolation have a much better experiences. They are not punished for seeking help. Unfortunately they are not helped either. For the first few hundred times a man may ask for help, but then he develops Toxic Masculinity in the form of avoiding help-seeking.

Men and Women involved in Men's Human Rights Activism have done very good job in bringing awareness to men's issues. A recent NBC News article titled "Trump Voters Say Men are Discriminated Against More Than Gays, Minorities" revealed that "Forty-nine percent of Trump voters surveyed said men face either "a great deal" (18 percent) or "a fair amount" (31 percent) of discrimination in America today." I am grateful to men and especially women who advocate for male victims of abuse and discrimination.

Unfortunately, Men's Human Rights community has almost no resources to help even a fraction of those in need. A few activists can not help hundreds of thousands of men who suffer abuse, severe depression, legal problems, etc. Obviously someone who just suffers Social Isolation and needs like-minded friends will be at the very bottom of the triage of those who need help.

My idea is that men aware of Discrimination should form support groups. A support group or a support network overcomes the problem of resource scarcity by enlisting the help of every group member. Within a support group, everyone helps others and everyone gets help from the group in return. This differentiates a member of a support group from a patient who unilaterally receives support from his/her therapist.

My original plan for a support group was a group of telephone friends. I guess I am much less technology savvy then the new generation. I was signed up to a Discord group, and I still do not understand how Discord works.

Forming support groups for men aware of men's issues may not be easy, but we should discuss potential difficulties and possibilities.