~ archived since 2018 ~

Being there isn’t enough.

reeeren · 2019-01-08T13:31:38+00:00

Being there isn't enough.42,685 points•863 comments•submitted 2 years...

reeeren

January 8, 2019

161 upvotes

/r/MensRights

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Post Information

Title	Being there isn’t enough.
Author	reeeren
Upvotes	161
Comments	11
Date	January 8, 2019 1:31 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/adu7ol/being_there_isnt_enough/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/being-there-isnt-enough.886972 https://theredarchive.com/post/886972

Comments

[–]hall_residence 13 points14 points15 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]headingtoshore 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I agree with the OP statement

A toxic mother is more dangerous than an absent father

and i find it petty of you to comment as you did

I mean... an absent father is still not a good thing. Better than any toxic parent, but still not good.

in a way that seems to say nothing as clearly as it says 'absent fathers are bad'. Now, had the head coach said "A toxic mother is bad, but an absent father is not" then your comment would have been spot on. Is that how you interpreted it?

Anyway, the noun phrase 'absent father' as it has been used above refers to 'absence of a father' and not to the absent father himself, who may have died of cancer, been chased away by the toxic mother or never even have known of his child's existence.

I am only one man, I have my good points and my bad - my children may judge me for themselves. But I am an involved co-parent, and also a single father, and also an absent father, and also a surrogate father to fatherless siblings of children of mine. As are many men.

[–]hall_residence 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]headingtoshore -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Well, the meme if meme it be, does not claim that absent fathers are not bad, or offer them any free pass. Instead it speaks to and against the meme common in single mother wastelands, fatherless zones, that says all these women are queens.

The message is, a mother can be toxic, even a strong independent single mother, and her toxicity can be worse or seem worse to the affected child than does the absence of it's father.

i heard a filmmaker discuss her first engagement with these ideas, she said that when MRA said "men's rights should be respected" she had somehow seemed to hear "men's right's should be respected and women's rights ignored" i think this is what you are experiencing now.

Absent fathers get a pass because abusive mothers are bad?

No one said they should

it doesnt make me think that absent fathers should get a free pass,

odd that you are not thinking it - when you were the one that typed it

[–]hall_residence 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

What the fuck are you even talking about "odd that I am not thinking it when I am the one that typed it"? Your reading comprehension is clearly lacking here. If I have to spell it out even more obviously to you what I said, it's that absent fathers are shit even though abusive parents are worse.

I have literally no idea how you interpreted this post NOT to be giving absent fathers a pass just because abusive mothers are worse. That is exactly what is being expressed in the quote. If you assume all criticism of absent fathers to be inherently praising all single mothers, then you are truly hearing things that aren't there and filling in blanks in your own mind. A child can have an absent father and a shitty mother. My point about this dumb meme is that just because an abusive parent is worse than an absent one doesn't mean you should just dismiss the absent one. Absent fathers are still pieces of shit.

If your point was "Abusive mothers are bad" then there is no fucking need to add "worse than absent fathers" because it's irrelevant. What this quote is trying to do is say that absent fathers aren't that bad because at least they're not abusive moms. That is a stupid argument. Both are bad.

[–]hill1205 -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]hall_residence 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]hill1205 -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Faradinh 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]headingtoshore 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Techdude594 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link