Help for Men Who Are Being Abused: Recognizing the Signs and Getting Out Safely

Imnotmrabut · 2017-12-05T12:15:44+00:00

You need to consider that the abuser Grooms both target and environment to facilitate the abuse and hide in plain sight.

There is no difference in the grooming and control behaviours of a sex offender or a domestic abuser and terrorist. When they exhibit a Jekyll and Hyde personality between the private and public spheres suspect them of being a Sociopath .

Grooming The Environment
Grooming is commonly thought of as targeting only the victim of sexual assault. However, sex offenders often groom other individuals in the victim’s environment as much as the victims themselves. *The purpose of environmental grooming is to find victims, reduce the probability of being reported, and if reported, reduce the probability of the victim being believed.*

Finding victims involves establishing oneself in the victim’s environment such that both the victim and the others in the victim’s life see the association between the offender and the victim as positive and valued. in fact, successful environmental grooming results in the environment actually pushing the victim into association with the perpetrator. For example, establishing oneself as a skilled soccer coach in a community league will result in parents actively seeking to place their children under the offender’s tutelage. *Increased attention of the offender towards the victim will be viewed positively rather than with suspicion.*

*Establishing a valued position in the victim’s environment also reduces the probability of offenses being reported.* This will be explained in detail below, but essentially the value derived by the environment through the victim’s association with the offender makes it difficult for the victim to report assaults. The fear of losing the benefits of the association is reinforced by the victim’s environment and works to keep the victim in the abusive relationship.

*Environmental grooming also makes it difficult for the victim to report out of fear of not being believed.* Victims understand that reporting behavior antithetical to the collective perception of others is less likely to be heard or accepted and can result in negative consequences for the victim.

Conte, Jon R., Steven Wolf, and Tim Smith. *"What sexual offenders tell us about prevention strategies."* Child abuse & neglect 13.2 (1989): 293-301. doi:10.1016/0145-2134(89)90016-1

Title	Help for Men Who Are Being Abused: Recognizing the Signs and Getting Out Safely
Author	DougDante
Upvotes	9
Comments	1
Date	December 5, 2017 4:52 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/7hnevq/help_for_men_who_are_being_abused_recognizing_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/help-for-men-who-are-being-abused-recognizing-the.1173809 https://theredarchive.com/post/1173809

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