I come here from a forum site that suggested me that I should post here. And if such posts are not allowed I am happy to remove it.

I have been dealing with severe depression and C-ptsd. And I have tried getting therapy and I didn't help me. I was sexually and physically abused by my foster sister and raped by my foster mother when I was little. When I was 17 I told her that I will go to the police and she said if I did, she would accuse me of rape. I was kicked out that year. And I had tried getting help, which ended up making things worse for me.

I have tried getting help, but I was ridiculed every time. People would say things like 'men can't be raped' and 'you must have enjoyed that p**sy' and laugh and joke about it. I had really hard time making friends or just cope with my loneliness. When I finally made one, I was dumb enough to open up and he posted on his social media. Which one of my coworker saw and told every one at the work. They fired me later, because women at work were having difficulty working around me.

I was at a point I could not afford therapy, so I visited a social worker. She didn't do much help, she told me to go to some other person, and they told me be strong and move on. I was shocked, how cruel everyone is. I am just a joke. I won't anywhere in life. I have attempted suicide multiple times in my life. And I have failed every time. I don't have a family. My fiance left me for other man. I am just waiting for my time too come.

I am sure that I won't find a job again. I have been unemployed for months, eating one meal a day. I didn't had a place to live for weeks. No shelter would let me in. I just wanted to find family Or someone who loves me. I won't stop getting flashbacks.

I am giving life a last chance. If things don't get better I will leave this world. How do I get my foster mother to pay for her crime? Can she be charged? Can I get better? If I can better how so? Please help me. Please don't judge me or make a joke. I have seen it too much.

Thank you for your advice.