I work in a large American city, and I see panhandlers on a regular basis. I am reluctant to given them money because there are various organized resources available for them in the vicinity, especially a notable one run by a group of churches. I also do not like possibly enabling a harmful habit. When I see a panhandler, I use it as a reminder to donate to this worthwhile church organization that feeds those most in need.

I made an exception about giving money yesterday, because I saw a particular panhandler who is well known in the area and who takes whatever little money he has and buys a sandwich at Arby's. (I hope he also doesn't spend some of what he gets on a harmful habit, but I took a chance.)

More important, I talked to him like a brother, and asked why he is sitting out in the cold--I told him he really ought to go inside.

He was so thankful, he looked like he might cry. It wasn't just the money, I think it was more because I bothered to treat him like a human being. My guess is that not too many people do that.

Here's what he told me, verbatim: "There's only one shelter for men. The women have six. We need them, too."

I promise you, this poor soul is no men's rights activist. He is obviously mentally challenged and I doubt he could hold a job. But his words hit me like a shovel to the back of the head and underscored something I've been wrestling with: we waste way too much time worrying about affronts to "men" by women's studies majors when we've got real live, flesh-and-blood folks sitting outside on the sidewalk that need to be talked to like human beings once in a while.