My son's self esteem

darkbluexanadu · 2020-08-31T22:03:43+00:00

You want him to have self esteem? Teach him that success and failure exist. Give him responsibility. Praise him when he succeeds, help him when he fails. Effort isnt enough. Create structure for him. Allow him to accomplish things on his own and he will be fine. One cannot be given self esteem, only love. Self eateem is up to the person to earn foe themselves. Hence, ya know, SELF esteem.

Men-Are-Human · 2020-08-31T22:07:29+00:00

I honestly don't know if songs can do that, but teaching him independence will. The best way to do that is to praise him when he accomplishes things on his own. Let him do things unsupervised. Teach him to do his own laundry and things like that, then sit back and praise him when he does it on his own. That sort of thing is pretty good. As is not yelling at him when he makes mistakes. I can't stress that enough: if you do, he will become scared of trying things in case you explode at him. Also, toys that encourage creativity. Etc.

mikesteane · 2020-08-31T22:57:21+00:00

I would suggest taking a different route: the work of Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology. He argues that self-esteem with out the corresponding effort and achievement is harmful.

In "What You Can Change and What You Can't" he details what is fixed in people and what is liquid and therefore where best to put your efforts at self-improvement. In "The Optimistic Child" he shows how to "safeguard your children against depression by building lifelong resilience." He also argues that the self-esteem without the work movement is largely responsible for the explosion of depression in recent decades.

Immastopya · 2020-08-31T22:27:13+00:00

I was wondering if anyone knew of any songs I can play for my son that will help his self esteem

How about the East German national anthem? It alternates a soft theme (sunrises, ripening wheat, etc), and a hard theme (never shall our enemies prevail), thus encouraging the full range of masculine potentialities. It's got marching and pageantry, which appeal to the senses and help develop co-ordination. If you're not German it's got a foreign language in it, and you can't start the kids soon enough in that.

Or are you looking for something more new agey or therapeutic? When I was around that age, my parents thought they were expanding my horizons or improving my self-esteem or something by playing There are so many colors in the rainbow by Harry Chapin. I hated that song and the whole smug attitude behind it. It probably did me some good by inoculating me against the type of "inspiring" post-60s Dead Poets Society teacher who encourages cheap self-expression as opposed to learning a skill.

bearstevenlee · 2020-08-31T22:35:12+00:00

I gave chocolates to an old friend for his self-esteem. I'm not doing that again though. It's finished, over, the end. I've done more than enough for him back then, and I shouldn't do it anymore. I wasn't even obligated to do that much for him back then. I was being nice. It's probably Jennifer using Luke as a human shield. Jennifer's mindset is probably that if I'm not willing to do a favor for Luke, I won't do a favor to her neither. She's correct. I find Jennifer ugly (not pretty enough), disgusting, manipulative, cunning. She's like Heather.

I also find it funny that Jennifer is using "friend" card cause we were never that close. Also, friends shouldn't bother & annoy each other. It's not an excuse. I don't want to hear anything from Jennifer ever just like I don't want to hear anything from Heather & Yoona.

Aarya1324 · 2020-09-01T03:42:59+00:00

Slap on some headphones on his head and let him chose from usually rock libraries. Queen, Ac/Dc, Green day, Foo fighters can be a good place to start. These songs help get rid of aggression and help to regulate mood better than the usual pop crap.

duhhhh · 2020-08-31T22:29:18+00:00

I'm going to suggest Metallica's Black Album. It tells it like it is. He won't really listen to the lyrics as a toddler. My kids love it as it's very mainstream for metal. I wish I took note of the lyrics more when I was 14 and the album came out. I'm going to make sure my son does at 14. It's dark, but it tells you what to watch out for as a young man - mistakes not to make.

Title	My son's self esteem
Author	Ratet_LoS
Upvotes	14
Comments	13
Date	August 31, 2020 9:49 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ik7ezv/my_sons_self_esteem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-sons-self-esteem.844857 https://theredarchive.com/post/844857

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