Everything here was supposed to disappear. Banned subreddits, deleted communities, cancelled blogs — much of what is archived here survives nowhere else.
It stays free — no paywall, no account — for the next man who comes looking, the way it was free for you.
I pay for the servers, the storage and the bandwidth myself. If you want this record still standing in ten years, become one of the people who keeps it online.
Support the archive
[–]Storm_cloud 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FineDot5 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moronic-Simpleton 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[+]TehReedster891 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Nah, the closer the wording, the better. The issue is that OP didn't wait long enough, so people didn't forget the post. When I do this sort of thing, I like to wait months, not a week. Unless a post is super distinct, people won't remember it after a few months. So it's easier to take the literal exact wording, change only the pronouns, and prove a good point. If you have to change more details in order to avoid people recognizing the post, you run the risk of people having the excuse that the details you changed are why the votes changed.
I just did one of these earlier today. 6 months ago, a woman posted about how her husband sucks at giving gifts. My reaction when reading the post was that she's horribly ungrateful. The language she used just painted someone who doesn't understand how gifts work. She said things like, "I've been putting up with this for X years", as if not getting the exact toy you wanted is "putting up with" something. And she said things like, "They've all had to be returned", as if it's not her choice to return a gift she didn't love, but was forced upon her. Stuff like that. She just came off super ungrateful.
Anyway, the results of the original post were unanimous NTA. But beyond the votes, the language used by the comments is key. Several people said that the husband must be doing this intentionally, and suggesting that he's doing this to abuse her or attack her. That sort of thing. It's not just that people voted NTA, it's that they attacked the man in the story for being an asshole. When I reposted it with the genders flipped, the votes were still NTA, but the language was so much kinder. People were saying that the (now) wife seemed sweet, but in over her head when it came to gift giving. People were praising her for trying her best, even if she fell short.
Sometimes, the votes change drastically when you change the gender. But even if the votes don't change, you can still see a strong demonstration of how differently people treat men vs. women. The woman OP got "NTA and your husband is doing this on purpose, the asshole", and the man OP got "NTA, but it seems like she means well." Shocking.
[–]Storm_cloud 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TravelerHoTS 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link