Quick intro I am a 26 year old man and my ex is 22 we live in the netherlands. We've got a 3 year old son. Since January this year my ex no longer lives on this adress, she is now living with her parents. Ever since the split up it has been all fine, except for the fact that she was mad at me for not wanting to try again while she was the one who ended the relationship. She sent me a contract written on lined paper that stated some rules including that I was not allowed to visit my grandparents with my son or see my mom when my son was near. I signed it because she was still not in the mood to talk and I had no contact with them anyways because I was mad at my mum for something I'll explain beneath. And I just wanted too keep seeing my son.

During our relationship when our son was born someone anonymously called child services and they started monitoring us(which was completely unnecessary and the organisation agreed with that) , my mums ex told my ex that my mum was the one who called and that she said that our son was hers, we both believed that. But when we broke up I got contact with my mum again because she had cancer, when we met again I confronted her with what her ex said and she looked at me with a look of utmost confusion. She said she always thought that my mother in law was the one who called and that response was so genuine that I immediately knew that I've been mad at her for years without the proper reasons.. I went looking for the letter from the child service and found a letter from 2018 that stated that my ex once called them to adress the struggles she experienced at home with her parents. My guess was that they kept an eye on her and stepped in when they discovered that she was having a child in the process claiming that they were tipped anonymously. My other guess is that my mums ex called them.

Last friday my ex texted me and asked "are you awake?" I said "half, but I went to bed early and woke up early so I can't really do anything about that" She then said "maybe you should stop snorting drugs" Disgusted by that accusation I said that she's not supposed to talk about things she doesn't know a shit about and that I've not been up to that kind of things at all. I called her a know it all and said that she needs to stop acting like her thoughts are a source of viable information. That I was done doing what she told me to do and that she could destroy that stupid contract of hers revealing what I know that my mums ex lied. She said that it was all lies and that she still believed the statement my mums ex made. She brought our son later that day, as she does every other weekend. And began complaining about the child support that has to be calculated again because I lost my job with all the stress caused by the situation. I said that I was not able to pay what she had noted on that paper and that she had to wait until it was calculated again. She told me that that was not her problem and ofcourse I said that it in fact was because it's just not possible at the moment. Then she left. The next day my mum picked my son and me up and brought us to my grandparents. The day after my ex came to pick our son up escorted by her dad and a friend(who took our son to the local Playground) she asked if I went to my grandparents and I straight up told her "yes I told you that I was done following your commands" She lost it and tried to get to me but was restraint by her father. She told me that the judge would solve this matter and I told her to call her lawyer we argued and I was telling her to calm down and leave my house. She refused and began to yell that she wished that I would drop death and stuff. I was about to explode but didn't want to give in to the anger that was building up and I called the police and told them that my ex was threatening me and refused to leave and that I was about to lose my temper. They sent her away and told me that her dad would pick up her remaining stuff the next day, and that child services had been notified because of the police involvement.

Now she won't allow me to see my son until the judge has cast his judgement. I already chose my lawyer and gathered some evidence regarding the poor state of her mental health including suicide notes and psychological reports that I took pictures of when they were still in our document drawer. I'm not planning on using it against her but I don't know what her strategy will be in court. My strategy is that I want the judge to know that all I want is to live my life and include my son, mum and grandparents in that life as well. That there is only one party(her family) that most certainly will try to ruin me and bring me down and that I don't want to be like them.

I've been crying my eyes out the past week and I'm so not prepared for everything that is about to be set in motion the upcoming weeks. Do you have any advice or tips? Or have you maybe experienced something similar and can you tell me how it went for you. What are some measurements I should take and what important information should I know? Any dutch who know how these kind of cases are handled or what my chances are? I'd love to read your responses and thoughts in the comments. I will also answer any questions or clarify things that are not clear.

Thanks in advance.