TL;DR Could someone please offer me advice or links to articles/books on the need for a man to know who his father/paternal grandfather is/was?

I never knew my father nor did I ever have a father figure. Moreover, my father was adopted and he didn't know the identity of his own father.

My father was not a good man and no relationship with him was ever possible. However, I have always had this strong desire to know the truth of my paternal lineage and over the past 15 years I have been using every research tool at my disposal to uncover the identity of my paternal grandfather.

To that end I have taken several genealogical DNA tests and have recently learned who my grandfather likely was. However, to confirm this I need to essentially depend on the kindness of strangers to share personal information about my possible grandfather and hopefully submit to a DNA test which I would gladly pay for.

I can't force anyone to do anything and I certainly don't want to be pushy. However, I really want to convey how important this is to me but I simply don't have the words or language to explain this.

I am not seeking a relationship and I have no desire to insert myself into anyone's life. I just want to know the truth of my paternal lineage. It is a need that I have, as man, that seems to come from the depths of my soul. It feels essential... like a calling. It always has.

However, I've never read any literature that touches on this subject so I'm hoping someone on this sub could help me figure this out. I am not seeking therapy but information on what this is.

I am grateful for any advice whatsoever.

Thank you.