When men complain about not having enough sex, or about how hard their dating lives are in general, the advice is usually some variant of "You aren't good enough. Become better and you will become worthy."

This is good advice in certain contexts. What else can can men do?

However, sometimes people dispense such advice with the addition of a judgment about the man's character: "If you cannot get laid it is because you have a bad soul and you are unworthy of empathy."

When a woman dispenses this advice, it is deeply insulting because women simply do not have to improve themselves that much to get their physical needs met. Women seem to be oblivious to this fact. Often, women really do believe that it is their charm, their wit, their high spirits, their social status that gets them laid.

Imagine a minimum wage party girl with nothing going for her except the fact that she knows how to put on makeup and not eat too much food telling a hardworking six figures guy who is thin but not muscular and sorta average looking that he needs to go on a spiritual quest to become a better, more good, more worthy person. Imagine further that the women proceeds to run off with a handsome fella who she thinks is the nicest, funniest, and most potentially successful guy around, even when he doesn't exhibit any of those qualities.

All of this has been repeated ad nauseum on this subreddit. What I want to emphasize is the sheer sociopathy of bad or mediocre men and women telling good men that they aren't good.

Average Man: "I'm not having enough sex. Dating is really hard. Nobody is matching me on the dating apps. I make lots of money and I get out regularly. Why doesn't anyone want to date me?"

Average Woman: "You seem to think you're entitled to sex and relationships. If you'd stop treating women like objects that exist purely for your sexual gratification instead of real human beings then maybe you'd actually attract somebody."

Average woman proceeds to fuck some random plainly dressed handsome guy that she met that day in a bar/on a dating app. He doesn't give her head and doesn't really even make an effort to make sure she orgasms. He insists on giving her a facial even though she doesn't really like that. She still thinks he's super chill and cool and has a lot going for him even though he has only demonstrated that he's sorta okay at talking. He then never contacts her again because he knows he can sleep a variety of way hotter women with bigger tits and fatter asses. The woman he just slept with was a convenient body for the night. Her personality was not only uninteresting to him, she was actually kind of annoying. He forgets her immediately because he's done this before with many other women who are completely interchangeable with her. The woman tells herself that, although they liked one another, neither was really in a position to be in a relationship at the time. It's all okay, she thinks, but there is a lingering emptiness in her heart.

Average Man: "I tried approaching some women last night. They all blew me off"

Average Woman: "Ugh. Maybe you should stop approaching them expecting them to just give you sex for being nice. Are you getting to know her at all? Do you make her feel valued for her accomplishments? Why don't you try making friends with her like a decent human being instead of just trying to get your dick wet all the time. You don't really care about women, you only want casual sex because you're a fucking asshole."

This is all hyperbole of course, and maybe only applies to a minority of women, but I think most of us have seen the gist of this happen.

There are plenty of guys getting laid who do not see most women as anything more than sex objects. They have no feeling in their hearts about the act of using women and throwing them away once they grow tired of that particular woman. They look good and they're willing to chat lots of women up, that's about it.

There are plenty of women who gleefully allow themselves to be used as objects because they enjoy it, or because their attraction chemicals are causing them to lie to themselves about the character of the man.

And some of these people have the gall to tell an average man down on his luck that he's an asshole for even trying to get laid.

The message is clear: Those people are not on your side. Your interests are irrelevant to them. If you even attempt to step out of your place, you will be shamed right back into it. You are a creep. You are a loser. This is what you are not because you're not conventionally attractive, but because you are immoral.

The double standards that come with this kind of judgment demonstrate a total lack of empathy for the men on the receiving end of these kinds of criticisms.