My life would be so much easier if I was no longer attracted to women. I would finally be free.

Does anybody else feel this way? Has anybody else achieved this enlightened state?

Being involuntarily single and involuntarily unsuccessful at getting laid makes me want to end it all. Not because I feel entitled to another person! But because my body still craves those things against my own will and experience.

The silver lining is that this neverending suffering has helped me understand drug addicts in a new way. I've started to realize that people struggling with addiction, even more "minor" ones like weed, vaping, caffeine, are experiencing a similar conflict between their body and their mind. People say it's mind over matter, but no matter how much they know they need to cut back or stop, whether it's to get a job or better health, they can't.

That's what sexual desire has become for me. It's just Neverending torment and I want it to stop already, so that I can ignore the women who ignore me and just be free, and live with a clear mind and focus on other things that could actually bring me happiness.

Thank you for reading my venting. I am curious what other people have experienced with this.