~ archived since 2018 ~

No means no

newyearspurgeaccount · 2021-01-03T19:47:46+00:00

If you don't take the no, don't be surprised if she accuses you of rape....

newyearspurgeaccount

January 3, 2021

3 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	No means no
Author	newyearspurgeaccount
Upvotes	3
Comments	34
Date	January 3, 2021 7:47 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kprh2t/no_means_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/no-means-no.730115 https://theredarchive.com/post/730115

Comments

[–]TheBookOfSeilSentient penis with arms and legs8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeilSentient penis with arms and legs0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeilSentient penis with arms and legs-1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeilSentient penis with arms and legs0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

What about women who feel violated when you push our boundaries?

That's part of the risk that men have to assume in the dating world.

If I say no I just want him to back off... how do I get him to actually back off if he won't listen to my words?

Walk away, probably. Some men might continue pushing because they really want sex but that isnt your problem.

Men who err on the side of caution are plenty sexy. I've had a man ask before doing anything before. It made me feel safe and comfortable and I love that

Right, and it's mostly with women who want or need to feel safe and comfortable that it matters, but again, its literally not possible for us to know beforehand so we're stuck with the decision. Guys tend to push because it works more often than not, and works faster.

I don't always need them to ask but if I say no or stop I need them to do so.

Right. However, some women expect men to keep pushing and pursuing so it's not something that we can standardize for every woman.

I personally don't approach many women at all because of this. Makes life a lot simpler and stress-free.

[–]LunaLilacs2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeilSentient penis with arms and legs0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Where is the line between harassment and not harassment for you?

Harassment is only harassment when the behavior is explicitly unwanted and continued. Unfortunately, this line has been blurred because of the double-speak on women's part. Men are simply supposed to know what women want when they want it and when they don't.

What I'm describing is what happens when men won't take no for an answer. What are you thinking of? I just want a man to stop if I say stop while we're fooling around

Well if you say stop but don't look like you mean stop, then what's he supposed to do? Is he supposed to listen to what you're saying or read your body language? If people are not congruent with their communication, the message can be unclear, and some guys in this situation are going to non-verbally press for clarity. There are few things unattractive to a woman than having her explain to a man what she wants him to do when it comes to sex and courting, so asking is pretty much out of the question. Women say otherwise but that's not what it ends up being in actuality. That's why "watch what they do, not what they say" is a thing.

Where is the line for you? Because I'd consider all of that harassment/assault if he keeps touching me against my will and maybe I will report it.

Legally, that would be the line, but that's not how it plays out for people. Women move that line for certain men, so it's impossible to know what a woman wants us to do, and we can't ask either.

If women want no to really mean no, then women shouldn't use it for anything other than what it means, but they do.

[–]LunaLilacs1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don't care what other women do, I always say what I mean and I will report a man who doesn't listen to me.

Well it matters because you're not the only woman on the planet, and not every woman is like you. You can report a guy who doesn't listen to you, but the problem still remains that other women don't say what they mean, or move the line forward or backward for different guys.

What do I need to do, try to shove him off of me to get him to see how serious I am?

If you feel that's what it takes because he's literally forcing himself on you, then yeah. Go for it.

I can't control all of my body language although usually when I've needed a man to stop my body language showed that as well.

Well that's great.

I dont want to have to explain to a man what to do BUT that's why I usually just let him do his thing. However, if I DO say something, I mean it. Seriously, if he won't stop and I need him to stop than what do I do? If we're having sex and I need him to stop what do I do to stop him from continuing and raping me?

The thing here is that some women will just let the guy do whatever because they're too scared to speak up out of fear that he might hurt them, so they basically allow themselves to be raped and then claim that they were raped although they didn't resist.

If you want a man to stop then you have to do whatever you can to make him stop. Don't jump the gun and assault him over the first offense, of course, but if they become forceful, then you become forceful. Women need to at least learn to fight and protect themselves like men have to do. Simply claiming victimhood after the fact isn't the solution.

Of course, this is a worst-case scenario so it's not as though women need to be skeptical and cautious about every guy they meet.

[–]LunaLilacs1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeilSentient penis with arms and legs1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]JohnDoe7210 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]LunaLilacs1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I got falsely accused of rape, another friend too

I know guys who have gotten falsely accused of harassment because “the girl regretted it the next day”.

In my college almost every single woman who claimed to have gotten raped was basically lying, very few women actually went through the unfortunate rape experience. I knew a girl who was a massive HS slut and told everyone in HS, her bf and undergrad that she got raped and that’s why she got an STD.

Another girl lied to being raped in order to get her boyfriend back because she cheated on him

Other women lie about rape/harassment to hide their real intentions and stories

Other women have lied about being raped because “they didn’t liked being used and disposed by men”

I could keep going but the point is there... actual rape stories are starting to become less and less common while false accusations are even becoming mainstream

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link