11 days ago there was this post: [Q4W]Do believe average looking women get a lot of attention?

I chimed in because I had just approached a woman that i has met for the second time and asked if she'd like to get some wings and beer on the next Open Mic night (where the rest of her friends go on Thursdays). It was a bit of a story but I was (and still am) so concerned with the idea that women 'soft reject' men. There's always a bunch of stupid reasons for this ranging from: "She didn't want to hurt your feelings" to "She was probably scared that you'd rage and turn into a stalker" and I think that's all a bunch of bullshit.

The person I was having the debate with used those excuses and others backer her up. And basically the conclusion was that I'm socially inept and/or too pushy and/or don't know how to take no for an answer - that last one is really out of this world because at NO TIME did the word "no" ever come out of this woman's mouth. She told me she wasn't over her past and hasn't dealt with it properly.

Later a mutual acquaintance said she spoke to the target and she has said I was too fat. This acquaintance pointed out that the target was too. And she is pretty fat, believe me. We're a looks match but she thinks she deserves better - probably an alpha widow.

Well anyway, a big reason I am posting is because my bud and I were hanging by these docks by a canal at a local public park where lots of people come and swim and row and fish and enjoy the day.

Well, 2 chicks, probably around the 27 year mark seemed rather friendly. They didn't say anything to us but they smiled when we'd see them look in our direction, especially one of them. And as they walked by, on the way to their car, they were pretty close and again they both smiled and my buddy waved and the big smile one waved back.

They got in their car and I decided I was going to approach. I stopped about 7-8 feet from the car just as they were getting in (I didn't want to freak them out because of stupid reason number 2: "She was probably scared that you'd rage and turn into a stalker").

The driver had just closed her door and noticed me. i motioned for her to roll the window down. She did, a few inches (that's when I thought this may not go so well but I was already committed so...) I said "Hey, do you know that bar the Olympia?"

Driver: "Yeah, but didn't it close down a couple years ago?"

Me: "Only briefly, there's new owners and they fixed up the place pretty nicely" slight pause "Well, my friend and i are going there, they have a band tonight, wanted to know if you'd like to join us?"

wait for it......

Her: "No....(pause) but thanks anyway."

I was completely stunned - a direct answer from a direct question... from a woman?!

I said "No problem, as Wayne Gretzky famously said 'you miss every shot you don't take'" turned and went back to my friend.

YAY. No bullshit excuses, no caring (over caring) about my feelings, full accountability, spoke to me with the directness and respect that I spoke to her, matching energy. And hey look... no creepy stalker shit. Hell, I hope they got a bit of a boost even if they weren't interested. It's not like I was asking to marry or fuck her. Just asked if they want to go to the same place at the same time with us.

The original woman from a couple weeks ago was around 40. Should be at least that mature... she's not. Never will be. Still acting like a middle-school girl. Always the man to push the blame on. And this - even when there's a culture to tell women to be more bold and look men in the eye and be assertive. Yeesh...

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So, let's get to it men... Soft or hard rejection... which do you prefer. And more specifically, do you think soft rejections after (let's say) highschool are complete bullshit and demonstrative of a an immature woman that hasn't grown up yet?

And please... let's refrain from trying to psycho analyze her past because then pretty much everyone is going to find some way to excuse her. We don't know SHIT about her past and it appears that was bullshit anyway because she told her friend she basically wasn't attracted to me. So she lied in the first place. Let's not give excuses. I had explained to her that a simple "No thanks" would be great but she didn't. She still played the "obstacle" game (ie: I have a boyfriend, I can't tonight, maybe another time, I haven't dealt with my past). I'm so fucking tired of it.