Crosspost "EM vandalizes my car because I won't give her my parking spot" from /r/entitledparents:

I enjoy this sub frequently, but never really thought I'd have a genuine EP story to share. However, today I crossed paths with the MegaKaren and, although she seriously disrupted my day, I'm kind of tickled to finally be able to contribute something.

CAST:

ME - Meticulous Eraser

EM - Excessively Monstrous

EK - ...Ehhhh, "Kid"?

I work in an office building with about three dozen companies operating on the premises, and because of the odd layout of the building we have six different parking lots. I prefer using the "hidden" lot that requires you to drive through one of the indoor lots to reach, which between being hard to find and all of the spots being marked "Compact" is usually less crowded than some of the lots closer to the road, not to mention that the door into the building from that lot is right next to my office so it's convenient in every way for me personally.

Today, it was raining cats and dogs when I arrived at the office. For some reason, my normal lot was unusually full, however someone pulled out of a prime space just as I arrived, giving me a much shorter walk through the wetness to reach the door. I exchange polite nods with the guy leaving, then pull into the space behind him. As I'm getting out of my car and grabbing my laptop bag out of the back, I hear some distant car horn honking, but think nothing of it since it's practically on the other side of the lot; when I turn around to head inside, though, EM rolls up in an oversized SUV and slides to a stop on the wet pavement between me and the building, splashing me with a bit of puddle in the process.

EM: "That spot wasn't for you!"

ME: "Excuse me?"

EM: "That parking spot! I was waiting for it and you stole it from me!"

ME (now irritated): "Where? The (highway) off-ramp?"

EM: "NO! I've been looking for a parking spot for twenty minutes, and when one comes open it's for the first person waiting!"

At this point, I look up and take stock of the whole row of empty spaces she had ignored to come over and harass me about taking "her" space, and consider the fact that the claim she's making -- that whoever was waiting first gets the first available space -- is not now, nor has it ever been, a real point of etiquette.

ME (gesturing): "There are plenty over there that were open before I even got here. Take your pick."

EM: "NO! I need THAT spot! You need to move, NOW!"

ME: "Why on earth do you have to have THIS spot?"

EM (gesturing to the back seat): "So my baby doesn't get wet walking from all the way over there!"

I look in the back seat, and the kid looking back at me was easily 10-12 years old. Also, "over there" couldn't have been more than 50 feet further to walk in the rain.

EK: "'Sup?"

ME: "That's not a baby. He'll be fine. And anyway, your car wouldn't fit in this COMPACT spot" (I move and point so she can read the six inch tall letters marking the spot as smaller than average) "But if you go around that side of the building, there's another lot that isn't compact spaces."

EM: "Whatever, are you gonna move or not? Your fat ass needs the extra exercise anyway."

ME (already cranky because I hadn't eaten yet, now pissed that this orangutan in lipstick is talking to me this way): "Well I'm definitely not moving for such a colossal bitch. Have fun walking in the rain, I hope you get struck by lightning."

I quickly walked away while this charming example of humanity hurled abuse after me. Now, admittedly, about 15 minutes later once I was settled in at my desk I started feeling really badly that I'd told this woman I hope she gets struck by lightning, even if there was no lightning going on in that rain storm. I continued to feel bad for all of five minutes, when the sound of a car alarm caused me to go to the window and look out. This woman had parked somewhere, gotten out of the car, and was now keying the hell out of my driver's side door while EK recorded it on his phone. I took a quick picture of them in the act on my own phone, and immediately called building security to tell them what was going on.

So guess who got arrested for destruction of property and assault? Oh, right, she also spit on and scratched the security guard who went to confront her, so assault. And everything that went down from beginning to end was practically right under a security camera, so it got a good look at her, her kid, and her car (including license plate) so no way she's getting away with it. AND since the slur she etched into my car door is homophobic, she may ALSO get charged under hate crime laws.

So that's fun!

If I end up going to court, having to testify, ever deal with this woman again, etc. I will totally post an update.

Edited for typos

Posted by McJimbo | 17 September 2019 | Link