Confusion

mauibaya · 2017-10-07T17:17:37+00:00

Hi. I'm going to try to offer some helpful comments aside from answering your question.

He wanted to be exclusive with me after one week

This is a small-to-medium red flag. It makes him look needy, insecure and like he has no other options, which displays a low SMV.

so he usually makes me dinner. Has taken me out and calls me several times a week with good conversation via text in between that.

These are very small green flags. Most of this is the bare minimum for having a relationship considering your living situation.

Last few weeks he asked me several times, "do you love me?"

This is a medium red flag, and it continues the theme of being needy and insecure that I mentioned above.

Usually he calls me on his drive home on Friday evening and we see each other for most of the weekend. Yesterday (Friday) he didn't call me so I messaged asking if he was ok. He briefly responded saying he had a busy and stressful day and didn't ask how I was. Today the same thing saying he was very stressed and tired and not asking how I am.

It's possible that he's upset that you didn't tell him that you loved him when he asked over and over. You absolutely should not have told this man you loved him if you don't feel it, and to do so would be a huge mistake on your part. If he is upset over it and is acting out in this way, then that's a major league red flag worth ending the relationship over.

The other possibility is that he's really just stressed and tired from something that has nothing to do with you. If that's the case, then you can't expect him to act like he would when he is at 100 percent.

There's no way to know which it is at this point, so there's not a lot you can do other than giving it some time, offering your support and paying attention to his future behavior with regard to his neediness.

Im inexperienced, is this normal behaviour?

For the sake of clarity, I'll make two lists. First off, abnormal behavior:

Wanting to be exclusive after a week
Asking you over and over if you love him

Normal behavior:

Cooking for you
Making arrangements to see you based around your living situation

The thing with this weekend doesn't belong in either list yet because there's no way to know which it is. You need to keep an eye on his insecurity and neediness, however, because that can be a ticking time bomb depending on the guy.

If you have any other examples of his neediness being an issue, it would be useful to know about to give you the best advice possible. Good luck!

BH40 · 2017-10-08T23:28:22+00:00

He is a beta and needs affirmation. He might be seeking someone who will give him total attention. You might be on the back burner now. His backup plan.

You seem like the male in the relationship to me. He acts like a needy female. Best to find a man who will lead which is probably what you truly want.

Ezaar · 2017-10-07T16:08:48+00:00

I think your hamster be spinning.

Let it be as it is. His own hamster might be spinning as well.

Consider what you said to him about his questions, and that might be a decent indicator of where he is.

If he’s stressed out and tired, you should expect a less than whole person. Operating in a less than ideal state of being is difficult and requires training and focus in order to be in that state. But once in that state, it’s very primal and certain instincts kick in.

I suggest to allow this phase to happen and see where it ends up. The man seems pushy or he’s testing you to a degree.

Rivkariver · 2017-10-08T23:27:00+00:00

I'm going to be honest, this seems a bit clingy and weird. Like he's needy of love without caring who the person is, since he can't really know you very well yet. I don't think that's a great trait for anyone man or woman. Proceed with caution. If he respects you he can wait for you to be ready. If he just needs anyone to love him because he's got issues, it will get more obvious.

loneliness-inc · 2017-10-08T16:10:47+00:00

I was reluctant as I would have preferred to get to know him better before making such a commitment of not dating others as well

In other words - you wanted to take one last round on the cock carousel. To me, this is a red flag in you. Either you're serious about dating for the purpose of a LTR or you're not serious about it. If you're serious, you stop having sex with anyone else before ever going on the first date.

It seems like you haven't internalized the message about the cc and the great damage it'll do to you in the long run.

Otherwise, it seems like you're both inexperienced. He seems very eager to gain your love and affection while you just sit on the sidelines. No wonder he pulled away after a few weeks. He wasn't getting any feedback from you!

Look, I agree, he went about it in an immature manner. But that's something for him to fix, what you can fix is your end of things.

Title	Confusion
Author	mauibaya
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	October 7, 2017 3:58 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/74vnlm/confusion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/confusion.73546 https://theredarchive.com/post/73546

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