I screwed massively up. We were chatting, then he was misunderstanding what I said and since at that moment I didn't realize that he misunderstood my point I was hurt by his reaction. Then there was some back and forth. We were both right and he probably would agree on that as well if he knew about the misunderstanding. As far as I see it know we were just referring to different aspects basically the same thing but from a different context. He rather referred to the whole situation and I referred to one particular situation. So I see that from his context his reaction was justified, but in that very moment I was just shocked.

He then rigorously ended the chat. But I couldn't stop writing. For me it was close to break up. So I was more or less spamming him for the whole evening. It was not intentional. I could see what was going on, but I couldn't stop. So please, don't tell me how bad it is... I know... I really feel sorry for the stress I have put on him.

So the day after I asked how he is and he said that I should leave him alone, which I respected. Then some hours later I realized the misunderstanding that was the cause of the escalation and after thinking about it for some time I decided that I wanted to let him know that there is a misunderstanding and whether I can tell him. Maybe I should have just told, but I didn't want to try to engage him in another conversation, so I just wanted to let him know that there is something that he might want to know and that we can talk when he wants to talk about it.

He hasn't responded, yet. So still his last words where leave me alone.

Having the misunderstanding in my mind at some point I realized how much pressure I put on him by spamming him with the messages. I don't see the whole escalation as anybodies fault. We were talking about different things and none of us noticed... but I feel really sorry for basically writing all these messages, then deleting them, writing again, deleting and so on. It must have been a nightmare for him. Even more of a nightmare because due to the misunderstanding from his perspective everything he said was valid and right.

But even nobody is at fault, I caused some nightmare in him and I really really want to excuse for that. I want him to know that I know that this was bad and also promise that he can be certain that it will never happen again. I know that it will never happen again... first because usually I don't put so much stress on anybody and second because I definitely learned something about the kind of misunderstanding that can happen between us. If something sounds to bad to be believed, then probably because he means something else or means it in a different way.

But while I want nothing more than to say I am sorry, I also do not want to disrespect his openly expressed wish to "not hear anything from me". I did it once already when I mentioned the misunderstanding. Now I don't know if I should do it a second time for the excuse.

Which is more important? Letting him know now that I am sorry and that I understand that my reaction at the end was bad or respecting his wish to be left alone?