I grew up with housemaids, I never had to do any chores all my life. I graduated university and I’m living with my parents/siblings. I literally do nothing all day except use my phone (texting, social media, YouTube) or read articles online. Even when I need something from the supermarket I send someone to get it for me. I only go out with my friends every once in a while and we never do anything physically demanding. We just go out to eat or cruise in the car with music. I’m very mentally active but very physically inactive. I even struggle with hygiene and would go 4-5 days without showering. Thankfully I don’t sweat much or smell but I don’t take care of myself as much as I should given the amount of products I own. I’m so inactive and unfit to the point that my muscles feel very weak and any physical activity exhausts me. I feel so tired working out even for 5 minutes and my muscles hurt like hell. I’m trying to adopt the “just do it” mentality, to just force myself to do things, and while that worked for one week I fell off the wagon. I mainly want to have an elaborate skincare/hygiene routine twice a day (morning and night), light workout everyday, and get my to do list done (random things). That’s all I’m asking of myself right now.

I took the last 2 years of university online from home (with my family) but the first 2 years I went to classes and lived alone in a different country. I had a cleaning lady help me with my apartment once a week or once every two weeks for a few hours, (deep cleaning, bath tub etc). But I had my cleaning supplies and cooking supplies and managed to keep a clean good smelling apartment and fed myself for 2 years. I absolutely have no idea how I did it. Yet I missed a LOT of lectures and wasn’t disciplined, I’d say I missed 50% of lectures. Also when I’m traveling or on vacation I tend to be a lot less lazy since we would go out everyday, for most of our waking hours. Nothing too physically demanding but actually showering, getting dressed and walking around and seeing other people all day. So I think I am capable of that. Yet I don’t know how to do it now. I don’t know how I’ll manage to hold a job.

I procrastinate too much and I have no will power of discipline. I just smoke cigarettes all day while scrolling on my phone. This is so unattractive for a female. I have a long distant boyfriend and he doesn’t know about this lifestyle at home at all. Whenever he sees me through Snapchat or whatever he only sees me all fresh, just showered, hair done, makeup done, he sees my clean beautiful bedroom with scented candles, he knows I don’t personally clean the house or cook, which is the norm even for his family, but he doesn’t know I smoke cigarettes all day (or at all) and that I sometimes would not shower for 4-5 days. I don’t what I’m gonna do when (if) I get married!

How do I change this? How do I stop this lethargy and laziness? PS: moving out and living alone is not an option.