TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

  • Subreddits

      Popular

    • /r/askTRP
    • /r/TheRedPill
    • /r/MarriedRedPill
    • /r/MensRights
    • /r/MGTOW
    • /r/PurplePillDebate
    • /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
    • /r/seduction
    • /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates

      • Other

      • /r/AllPillDebate
      • /r/AlreadyRed
      • /r/altTRP
      • /r/AntiFeminists
      • /r/askFDS
      • /r/askMRP
      • /r/askRPC
      • /r/becomeaman
      • /r/BlackPillScience
      • /r/Chadfish
      • /r/Divorce_Men
      • /r/EverydayMisandry
      • /r/ExRedPill
      • /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
      • /r/FeminismStopsWhen
      • /r/GEOTRP
      • /r/MalePsychology
      • /r/Male_Studies
      • /r/MenSupportMen
      • /r/MGTOW2
      • /r/MuslimRedPill
      • /r/newTRP
      • /r/PussyPass
      • /r/PussyPassDenied
      • /r/RedPillBooks
      • /r/RedPillParenting
      • /r/RedPillWives
      • /r/RedPillWomen
      • /r/RedPillWorkplace
      • /r/RPChristians
      • /r/ThankTRP
      • /r/TheRedPillStories
      • /r/trpGAME
      • /r/TRPOffTopic
      • /r/TrueBlackPillMGTOW
      • /r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre
  • Blogs

      Popular

    • A Voice for Men
    • Dalrock
    • Good Looking Loser
    • Heartiste
    • Married Man Sex Life
    • Return of Kings
    • The Power Moves
    • The Rational Male
    • The Spearhead

      • Other

      • Alpha Game
      • Archwinger
      • Artful Prudence
      • Black Label Logic
      • Caleb Jones
      • Captain Capitalism
      • Corporate Machiavelli
      • Days of Game
      • Deep Strength
      • Dicipres
      • Donal Graeme
      • Female Misogynist
      • Free Northerner
      • Gaming My Wife
      • Hawaiian Libertarian
      • Illimitable Men
      • In Mala Fide
      • Justice for Men and Boys
      • Kill Your Inner Loser
      • KillToParty
      • Krauser PUA
      • LaidNYC
      • Mensactivism
      • NO MA'AM
      • Omega Virgin Revolt
      • Pook's Mill
      • Random Xpat Rantings
      • Red Pill Theory
      • Red Pill Wifery
      • RedPillDad
      • RedPillDoctor
      • Rian Stone
      • RooshV
      • Seasons of Tumult and Discord
      • Sigma Frame
      • The Feminine Woman
      • The Futurist
      • The Masculine Principle
      • The Modern Man
      • The New Modern Man
      • The Obsidian Files
      • The Private Man
      • The Red Pill Room
      • The Red Quest
      • The Rules Revisited
      • Troy Francis
      • Wintery Knight
      • Woujo
      • Young Man Red Pill
  • Books
  • Dictionary
  • @TRParchive
  • Support

Trusting him to steer the ship

[deleted]

July 24, 2015
10 upvotes
/r/RedPillWomen
Archived from /r/RedPillWomen

r/RedPillWomen is the original Red Pill Women subreddit.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill subreddits and blogs. This page is our copy of the original post.

/r/RedPillWomen archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB
Support the archive

Everything here was supposed to disappear. Banned subreddits, deleted communities, cancelled blogs — much of what is archived here survives nowhere else.

It stays free — no paywall, no account — for the next man who comes looking, the way it was free for you.

I pay for the servers, the storage and the bandwidth myself. If you want this record still standing in ten years, become one of the people who keeps it online.

Support the archive

Share
Share Tweet Reddit Email
Post Information
Title Trusting him to steer the ship
Author

[deleted]
Upvotes 10
Comments 17
Date July 24, 2015 1:05 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3efw7q/trusting_him_to_steer_the_ship/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/trusting-him-to-steer-the-ship.166378
https://theredarchive.com/post/166378

Comments

[–]_wingnut_ 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

why are you dating a "red pill man". just find a normally masculine man who only uses the internet for porn, sports scores, Xbox and cat videos and dont be a controlling bitch to him

[–]TempestTcup2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

Just because people frequent a certain sub does not guarantee that they are a good person, just like how meeting a man who faithfully goes to church doesn't automatically mean that he will treat you in a certain way or will be a good leader. There are no guarantees in life, so you have to be responsible for vetting the men you date.

It isn't TRP's fault you picked a bad man; it's your fault for not thoroughly vetting him. Why on Earth did you stay with him after he left you stranded in Skid Row? That's on your head. Don't date bad men and then blame it on some internet forum; take a little responsibility for your decisions and your life.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]TempestTcup2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

No it's just a huge bitch-fest. It's you telling us how you were the perfect angel and what a bad man he was. This belongs in /r/offmychest not here.

If you really wanted clarity and perspective, you would have answered these questions just like it says to do at the top of our sub and on the sidebar.

[–]BogartSmartSev1 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

I am the man OP dated.

She is always just a victim. Does understand her emotions, and loves to skew things for sympathy.

[–]TempestTcup1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

She is always just a victim.

Yeah, it sounds like it. Women always write these posts like they were just minding their own business, being the most perfect woman on the face of the Earth, and WHAM! the man is a jerk. They rarely, if ever, take responsibility for their actions which caused the outcome.

Sorry I called you a bad man, LOL! Just trying to get a point across!

[–]CisWhiteMaelstrom 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link

He doesn't sound like he really understood the philosophy. I'm not even sure I'd give him credit for reading the sidebar.

He was prone to very frequent, angry and emotional outbursts over things I view as relatively minor.

Like this for instance. Look at what gets written about shit tests. The purpose of a shit test according to RP is for a woman to test your fitness as a leader by seeing how you react. Are you a real man who can handle some turbulent behavior or a little bitch who cries and abandons ship at the first sign of danger? Obviously what you said here doesn't amount to you shit testing him but the sentiment remains. How can you call him a man, especially a RP man, if he reacts over trivial shit in such a way? It's kind of pathetic and shows a lot of weakness. I wouldn't have trusted this guy's judgment on anything either.

Our ongoing struggle was that he felt I didn't let him lead.

This too, a RP man isn't supposed to ask for leadership. /u/Whisper wrote:

So where do armies come from? From each man's decision to follow, and nothing else. You cannot force an army to follow you, because... what would you force it with? It is the force you seek to wield. You must instead make each man think that following you is a good idea that will work out well for them.

This is why I say that leaders do not ask permission to lead. They do not make a play to be appointed to the big chair. They do not announce their candidacy for Chief High Panjandrum of Lower Tuli.

https://archive.is/z655T

Leadership is earned by being the kind of guy who people WANT to follow, not by begging for it or demanding it.

Twice while out on dates he got upset with me and left me stranded, one of those times was in LA's skid row (very dangerous part of town) and I was very nearly assaulted by another man.

This is just not red pill at all. Here's an example, albeit more extreme, of someone on asktrp who exhibited similar behaviors. Read some of the responses, the thread's pretty good. This kind of act is just ridiculous. This is the opposite of red pill behavior. It's being a whiny little bitch with a mean and abusive streak thrown in.

He was insecure/jealous to an extreme where he accused me of checking out other men when I truly had no idea what he was talking about.

Again, ridiculous loss of frame and just bitch behavior. There is no way this guy fully read our sidebar. I have no idea where you found him but he's not one of ours. Maybe he'd like, juuuuuust swallowed? I really just don't understand how he could get this from our theories or advice.

He constantly criticized me over every flaw I had or choice I made, and drove my self-esteem into the ground.

Like, this is quite literally the opposite of what we have to say. We tell men to do their own thing and if a woman chooses to submit to his judgment then there's that. Arguing with the women you're supposed to be earning the submission of is just contradictory. It's a waste of time and reflects insecurity on his own judgment. I'm really scratching my head here to figure out just how he got this from RP. Was he from a different manosphere site? Maybe RooshV? There's just no way this came from TheRedPill subreddit.

By the time I saw these red flags for what they were I already had very strong feelings for him. We tried to work things out. We went to couples and individual counseling. Our therapist told me he was "textbook" emotionally abusive and controlling and that he was worried for my safety.

You got a RP man to go to counseling? Just what the hell kind of red piller was this guy?

Our relationship ended last week when he accused me of checking out a guy I hadn't noticed, and he finally got violent.

He's not one of ours. I don't know why a man would lie about being a red piller, since it's not like that makes you popular. Maybe he thought it'd impress an RPW? But there's no way in hell that he's been reading our sub.

He actually introduced me to RPW because I needed to learn how to "get out of the way and let him lead."

Well that kills my first hypothesis. I have no clue where you found this guy but I don't think he got his behavior from the red pill. I think he's just a fuckwit, heard SJWs talk about us, and found some way to delude himself that our sub condones his mess. I really just don't know how the hell this guy thinks he's red pill. I'm also surprised he thought RPW would lead to that "get out of the way and let him lead" sentiment. Women here are pretty choosy and don't just let any guy lead them. Plus, the captain/first mate dynamic isn't nearly as unilateral in power a he makes it out to be.

My question for you ladies then is how do you implement the RPW lifestyle at the beginning of a relationship while also protecting yourself?

Make sure you find a real man. RPW is about getting commitment from the best man possible by being the best partner you can be. It takes two to tango though and so you've gotta find a good guy. You might want to consider talking with close friends or family for advice on identifying good ones, or I'm sure the women here can give good analyses. You've gotta be choosier though. When you see red flags, get out.

At what point do you trust him to steer the ship, and when is it acceptable to pull back?

Read the Whisper post I linked to. You trust him to steer the ship when he proves he's capable. Before that, don't throw yourself at him and if he's clearly aiming for rocks then stop letting him steer and get the hell outta that boat.

[–]Pink_acetaminophen 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm so glad an actual RPM is rejecting this guy because he really just sounds like a horrible person who is clinging on some things to completely distort to use as an excuse to be horrible. It's making everybody look bad because he's putting a name that doesn't apply to him and his extremely bad choices. There's plenty of women here who are happy with guys that are great, responsible, loving partners who have their respect but read that subreddit to improve on things and there are partners who don't read it but are naturally leaders. When there's over 100, 000 subscribers with bad posts and extremely stupid comments leaking through it sounds like this guy is the one that would make random angry comments that don't even make sense.

[–]CisWhiteMaelstrom 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

We ban people who are absolutely idiotic but we don't ban people for being angry, hateful, or hurtful. There's some chance that she found a guy with no actual interest in taking the RP journey, got attracted to the more angry and spiteful posts, and just stayed for that. I don't really have a problem with the rash, angry, or spiteful posts there but there's kind of an expectation that it comes from a more deep seated loving place or a desire to have women in your life.

There's also kind of an expectation that the anger's more about the wasted effort in BP douchery that you did, the feeling of betrayal from your family, role models, and educators who cared more about your future wife than you, and a cornered animal kind of feeling when you see how dire your situation actually is. For a lot of men, the experiences leading up to the anger are extremely painful, embarrassing, and make you feel kind of stupid. Usually it's shit men have been feeling for their entire lives but had to repress. We just give give them a space to explore it and usually they come around within a few months. They even tend to have more positive experiences and beliefs about women because they know what to expect, how to act, and feel less helpless.

I guess with 100,000 people you'll find some nuts. You can find a genuinely hateful person who masquerades an anger phasers just for the sake of having a platform to speak on. This guy never even bothered to learn the theory or read the sidebar so I'm gonna go ahead and say he had no actual interest in what our sub has to offer. He's a rarity but with a large enough sample, anything can happen.

[–]Pink_acetaminophen 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I feel bad for the guys that are angry because they're hurt. It reminds me of the pets that are abused then they're thrown into a horrible pound and start acting mean but really they just need a better home.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]CisWhiteMaelstrom -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I'll be honest, it was only a couple months ago that I became familiar with the term "red pill," and at this point I've read more about RPW then RPM. It sounds like reading up more on the RPM side may help in identifying a better man earlier on.

TRP does a lot more theorizing and analysis than RPW. RPW spends more time on individual situations, advice, and so on, if only because the manosphere dates back to pick up artists in the 80s and RPW is pretty new. I'd definitely recommend at least reading the sidebar, feel free to PM me if you have any questions. There's a lot and the theory gets pretty deep in certain areas.

He frequently comments and participates in the red pill subreddit, so I trusted that he knew what he was talking about and most of what I know of RPM comes from him.

Do you know his username?

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]CisWhiteMaelstrom 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I noticed you post on askwomen. Between that, the lack of a username, the reckless if ignorance of RP theory, and the victim post on RPW, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that you're a feminist doing some sort of manipulative rhetorical ploy here.

[–]BogartSmartSev2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

I am the man OP dated. I dont care about being 'outed'. The fact is, she deals with Narcissitic and/or Sociopathic personality disorder.

She NEVER let 'me steer the ship' .....using her words. She was a controlling, 'i know best', Secret feminist type of woman. Yet, i still loved her.

So highly insecure that she became outraged at the thought of us going hiking together one morning after i slept over at her place and wanted to workout with my SO. Full on screaming and yelling.

The events she describes happened, but have been HEAVILY skewed to make her look like a victim. Of course im the big bad man who was just a wreckless asshole to her.

I introduced her to personal development books that i asked her to read for her own growth, but of course that was laughed off because 'I dont need that!'.

The skid row thing is complete bullshit. We were at Wurstkutche in downtown la. Dont have time now, but basically she was drunk off her ass, she stops walking, i lean her against a wall and ask her to stay put for 30 seconds while i RUN to the car to come pick her up. I drive back, she is nowhere to be found, and comfortably standing next to some huge jacked guy, who is also very very drunk, and who threatens me by putting his hands on me. Regardless, I put her in the car first, and after i de-escalate with the dude, we leave.

I dont have much more time....maybe ill come back later... but she is a PERPETUAL victim. NOTHING is her fault.

Concering the statement she made about the last time we saw each other.... After i Uber back to her place..SHE got violent, put her hands around my neck/collar and pulled me around. I literally put by hands up and backed off....

[–]happyrpwoman 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

just let it go.

[–]TempestTcup1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Dang, you dodged a bullet there.

Browse all authors
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter