A question from a feminist

kuwa_huru · 2016-12-10T14:14:06+00:00

Why are you taking advice from a bunch of random dudes on Reddit about how to live your life? It seems like you already know what you want and you're here to seek validation specifically from men so you feel like it's more okay, because if your boyfriend disagrees he's the one that's the exception not the norm since other men agree with you. It doesn't matter what your boyfriend or anybody else thinks. If you don't want to live with him, then don't. If he really respects you then he will be okay with it. Sounds like you are more red pill than he is. Do him a favor and direct him to us.

vagbutters · 2016-12-10T06:12:34+00:00

How were you "forced" into moving in? Did he put a gun to your head and say "move in or I'll pull the trigger?"

Take responsibility for your actions and admit that you just want to be a fuckbuddy for him, since that's pretty much what you're describing yourself to be.

deadwoodcylon · 2016-12-10T15:23:49+00:00

Nothing wrong with wanting to live by yourself, even when in an LTR. It's your life, you make your own rules. If anyone says you "should" do this or that, or feel this or that, they're telling you how to live by THEIR standards.
Together time is good. And so is alone time. Kahlil Gibran said it best in The Prophet:

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

deadwoodcylon · 2016-12-10T15:28:09+00:00

Check out the redpillwomen sub as well for insights

[deleted] · 2016-12-10T05:11:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

RedStoic · 2016-12-10T14:35:01+00:00

OK... As i see it you have a big problem with taking responsibility for your actions and your relationship.

First, you are not being "pressured" or "forced" into anything. For him it is very important that you two live together, if you think that living with a guy you've shared your life with for six years could drive you insane, then you don't really want a relationship. If you need more personal space than the one he is asking, you are free to drop him, but saying you were "pressured" into something you can freely choose makes no sense. You are an adult, you should be able to take a reasonable and well thought decision by yourself without succumbing to pressure.

Second, you can only be responsible for your own boundaries and values not his. If you expect him to drop one of his values because you dropped the notion of Marriage+kids=security, you simply regard the relationship as a covert contract that entails yielding your values for his or making him yield his values for yours.

Third, If you need so much personal space and believe that's a "natural" trait of yours, then perhaps you just want a fuck buddy. A relationship requires work, commitment, and sacrifice of liberties in order to get stability, trust and security. If you want to keep your freedom, the 21st century has countless other names and conditions for different forms of relationships. If you need to spened most of the week away from him and believe that living on your own is the way to go, you want an occasional partner, not a LTR.

Koosfransoos · 2016-12-10T18:18:11+00:00

I am a bit confused as why you would ask us. Is your BF a TRP? Are you still a feminist? Why do you identify yourself as feminist? What ideas of yours do you consider feminist?

Or are you just a strong independent woman which is pro equality?

mlgwarrior420 · 2016-12-10T04:58:21+00:00

Either way there won't be trust. He could think "she's bringing guys back to our place while I'm out" or "she's bringing guys back to her place while I'm at my place'.

It's all about him making the decision to leave or stay. Will show my trust towards you.

Title	A question from a feminist
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	18
Date	December 10, 2016 4:42 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5hih51/a_question_from_a_feminist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/a-question-from-a-feminist.65228 https://theredarchive.com/post/65228

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