Age differences in relationships and hook-ups

atlascrowed · 2013-07-29T21:42:47+00:00

I don't see how it matters. There are many 20-year-old women who have no interest in guys the same age and I've never seen them given shit about it. "It's just the way women are."

Date whoever you want, whether she's in college or not.

VZPurp · 2013-07-29T21:31:33+00:00

Age differences don't matter. The only people I know who have problems with me dating younger girls are women my own age and older, or the whipped men attached to them.

They like to perpetuate a myth of being more mature while at the same time lashing out immaturely about male sexual preferences or men who don't follow the script. I look at their relationships and am very glad I'll be dodging that bullet.

Additionally, shaming tactics are employed heavily. Basically, I think any opposition is a ploy to expand the dating pool for older women.

the_red_scimitar · 2013-07-30T17:15:01+00:00

I have dated and had intermediate-term-relationships (ITR? Oh hell, why not) with a number women roughly half my age. Some lived up the the stereotypes about immature - in fact, two could have been the spokeswoman for that. We're talking 26-27 age women who had the relationship maturity of middle-schoolers (and this is, sadly, not an exageration).

Also, one of the most fulfilling (emotionally, creatively, intellectually) relationships I've had was with one in that age range. The difference: She'd been on her own since age 15, and had gone through all the hard knocks as a teenager. The others had been protected and coddled and rarely held to account as adults.

I also have dated women of ages up to and older than myself. I have definitely noticed roughly 10-year age groupings in general categories of personal responsibility and how they approach relationships, with exceptions in each decade.

For flat-out hotness (and I mean both in terms of looks, fitness, and sheer sexuality) I am surprised to say: late 40's. If a woman has taken care of herself, she's super fit, stylish, experienced, smart, knows what she likes and won't play games.

But I find in all age categories, and no matter what personal philosophy the lady espouses about LTRs, they all want to basically play the marriage game. I am often attracted to independence, personal responsibility and self-reliance in a woman, and am pretty much over it when she switches to "you're the man, take care of me" mode. That said, I enjoy contributing and helping in things that I'm good at, with and for my SO. But I really hate it being the expected role, to the exclusion of her own independence.

Ok, so all that said, let's talk about shaming. I've NEVER experienced it with dating much-younger women. In fact, weirdly, we often got compliments from strangers, such as "you're such a cute couple", "you guys look happy together" and things like that. And truly from strangers.

Now, I don't know what shaming any of my then-SO's may have gotten from their friends or family. Perhaps because, if such a relationship starts to look like more than casual dating, I do have the "you know I'm 25/6/7 years older than you, and, well, if this works out, there are just things you should think about..." - so, if she gets shamed ("he'll be 60 when you're just 33!"), she's already considered it and decided.

And there's the "kids" thing. That's tougher. Hard to argue with "he's gonna be dead when your kids are in college!" or some such. I've generally dated women who openly say they never want kids, so it's not a problem. But that - just like the role change from independent to dependent - can and does change. One day, she realizes she DOES want to have your children. And then the shaming can bite.

I'd sum it up to this: Successful relationship change both parties, sometimes in ways that, paradoxically, kill the relationship. But you can't predict that, you can only be honest with yourself and each other about whatever your relationship is like or might become.

TL;DR: No potatoes were harmed in the making of this post.

Edit: Addition, re shaming. Currently dating an (incredibly hot) 48 year old. Very, very sexually hot and compatible, funny, intelligent, tall, blond, fitness and figure to shame most 20-year-olds, makes great money, enjoys just the right amount of partying. Ok, maybe I'm bragging, but my point is, I told her about some of these past 20-somethings, and their immaturity. Got slightly shamed with, "really? what did you expect?" - so I told her, I expected them to be adults, because they were. At that same age, I had been on my own for a while, paid my bills, expected help from nobody and figured out my own shit, so it's natural for me to expect that from others of that age. And as I said earlier, one of those much-younger women really had all that going for her.

Anyway, shaming only works if you have your own doubts. You guys should talk about it and work out in your own heads why there's nothing shameful about the relationship, and then shaming loses its effectiveness.

The_PUA_Punanny · 2013-07-30T06:51:00+00:00

They aren't at the same stage of life because they have been misled by feminism into going to college for something useless. Otherwise between 18-22 they would be trying to snag a husband, if they had any sense.

If you're in your mid-20s and girls your age are already too old for you, it's never going to get any better. By the time they are at the "same life stage" as you (re: finally stop pursuing all that bullshit and ready to find a man), they will be over the hill.

Why would you want to start something with someone who's already old?

20 is where it's at, not 30. Never 30.

Feminism is bad for pretty girls. Good for men. They can bang a variety of chicks who have been told they are "liberated" by having sex without commitment.

Keep boning, but if you get tempted to put her on a pedestal, read this:

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1j6ylv/how_do_you_stop_a_partner_from_cheating/cbbwqby

Title	Age differences in relationships and hook-ups
Author	atlascrowed
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	July 29, 2013 9:07 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1jawxj/age_differences_in_relationships_and_hookups/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/age-differences-in-relationships-and-hook-ups.5959 https://theredarchive.com/post/5959

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