~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
CanadaUnderFire
[removed]
[–]Questionablechoice 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
Alpha and Beta are traits and temporary states. In any given interaction you are either Alpha Beta Delta or Omega.
Alpha being the leader and respect in the interaction, Beta being the second in command respected by all but the alpha, Delta being everyone else except the bottom, Omega being the very bottom respected by no one and often unaccepted by anyone.
In a relationship because generally only 2 members exist you have a alpha/beta relationship.
At any given time you or your partner is the alpha. You can't escape it it's the nature of interaction between 2 or more people.
The state of who is alpha and who is beta changes with every interaction. No one person is always in command. However when you end up with the female in the alpha position more often than the male this generally leads to infidelity, dead bedroom and other issues.
No one is 100% alpha or beta all the time.
Being alpha all the time leads to people questioning your position or there and ends up in a loss of connection typically called comfort tests.
Being Beta all the time leads to people not respecting your position and is typically called shit tests.
In and LTR or Marriage the best course of action is generally related to the cycles of mating. When women are sexually receptive (not menstruating) they seek alpha qualities. When they are not sexually receptive (menstruating) they seek beta qualities.
This is the nature of the male/female dynamic not just in humans but most mammals.
[–]CanadaUnderFire 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Thank you fpr the clarity on this. I should have mentioned in my OP that I'm still fairly new to TRP. This info has helped clear my mind of worry. What I took from this is that 50% of the time I am alpha and 50% she is alpha meaning we have an equal, or as equal as you can get, relationship
[–]Questionablechoice 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
ideally you want a 75% /25% swing in your favour. This is the actual balanced equation. It may not seems like it but that's the point of optimal happiness for most relationships.
Edit: The reason why the 75/25 split is optimal is a 2 fold issue.
A) it follows the schedule of mating of female humans. This is the pure biological aspect.
B) When you have a 50/50 split you have a situation which is referred to as uproar. This results in people battling for control of the dynamic and who is in control. This is done generally through argument, violence or character assassination.
This occurs because when a leader is in a position of equal dominance to a rival they are viewed as less than equal. The underdog has the will and drive to topple the top dog in almost all situations. The top dog is more concerned with maintaining the status quo and not advancing their position.
The 75/25 split is ideal because it minimizes both comfort tests and shit tests. These will still occur but they will be defused quickly and easily. If you in a situation where testing stop entirely or is incredibly frequent you are drifting away from this threshold.
In a situation where your partner has zero drama in the relationship she is fucking someone else in almost every situation. People only fight with people they respect. No fighting/drama = no respect = no fidelity.
This of course ignores factors like the honeymoon phase of any relationship or outside factors like the death of a family member were difference social customs take supersede natural emotional fluctuations.
[–]CanadaUnderFire 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I want to reply to this, but I am too exhausted from work today to type out my response. I'll get back to you tomorrow.
[–]CanadaUnderFire 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ok, so I'm awake now and able to coherently write a response.
First off, thank you for taking the time to repky to my post. Everything you explained makes complete sense to me. It explains why my GF and I tend to argue so much, we both want to be alpha without even realizing it. I do normally tend to get my way more times than not.
To be honest I feel guilty about it sometimes because of everything her and I have been through. I didn't mention my whole situation, lonnnnng story that involves teen pregnancy, children's aid, being homeless, going to jail for the first time, smoking weed, movinf to the city and getting a steady part time job and a whole lotta nonsense inbetween.
With that being said, the whole No drama = no respect aspect, I'm pretty sure I don't need to worry.
[–]Questionablechoice 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No problem man we are all in this together.
[–]KartagoPill1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good for you.
Better you tell me, if couple years into future you will do all the chores and work all week?
Remember there is only one captain in relationship.
[–]Morpheus-Man0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Short Answers - Yes. No need to elaborate, reread your post then read the sidebar
[–]ModRedSovereign0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Post questions to /r/asktrp
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]Questionablechoice 8 points9 points10 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]CanadaUnderFire 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Questionablechoice 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]CanadaUnderFire 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CanadaUnderFire 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Questionablechoice 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KartagoPill1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Morpheus-Man0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ModRedSovereign0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link