Alright boys. Opened my Facebook to this trash. While it's mostly feminist drivel there are a few points that are true.

http://www.donotlink.com/ebcm

(1) Nice guys do not finish last. Yes, we are attracted to the cliche bad boy players whom we think we can change, but at the end of the day, every girl genuinely wants a guy who is her best friend, makes her laugh, treats her well, and keeps all his promises. Every girl wants to date a nice guy, I promise.

Translation: AF/BB. "We really would like to ride the carousel for a while, but when we're done we'll gladly use you and suck the life out of you. Don't expect sex though. We're pretty tired after all of those gang bangs."

(2) It's a marathon, not a sprint. When pursuing a girl, seriously take things slow, but always show interest in her (and only her). The best girls are the ones that take the longest.

Translation: "We need to sort the Alphas from the Beta's. If you want to be a Beta, don't escalate and don't show abundance mentality"

(3) Stop posting selfies. Yes, you're hot, but that selfie is too feminine for girls to be attracted to you.

Translation: I don't even know. That is a confusing sentence. He's hot but too feminine? Who knows.

(4) It is very unattractive to hear guys talk about sororities and their rankings. Chances are, you don't know what each sorority is actually like, and hearing you talk about the "top tier" one just makes you sound rude.

Translation: We hamplanets don't want to be ranked. It offends us that you think there could be hotter girls. We're snowflakes.

(5) Be the kind of guy you would want you sister to date. You would not want a boy to treat your little sister like a piece of meat, so why would you treat other boy's sisters in that way?

Translation: WRONG. Be the kind of guy your sister WILL date. (although don't actually date your sister) Do I want my sister to be used like a piece of meat - no. But is that what she wants - yes.

(6) Being smart is very attractive. Being dumb is a turn off.

Translation: Another way to filter AF/BB "it's okay to be smart. As long as you fuck us rough."

(7) Playing with children makes you more attractive. It is actually one of the cutest things you can do. Dad material?

FREE CANDY!? Anyway. "we need to know you'll make a great BB later in life"

(8) So does dressing up. Girls love a guy with a good bow tie.

Translation: Wow an actual good piece of advice. Yes gentlemen looking our best is important.

(9) No, we don't all look like Victoria's Secret models. But you don't look like a Calvin Klein model, so get over it.

Translation: "we're special snowflakes and just because we're also hamplanets doesn't give you the right to judge"

(10) Always hold the door open, even car doors. Being a gentlemen never goes out of style.

Maybe 20 years ago. The real question is will she reach to open the door for me?

(11) Cheaters never win. I should not even have to tell you this one. And if you do cheat, you can bet every one of her sorority sisters are out for you.

Fair enough.

(12) Sometimes we just need to vent. When we seem mad about something, just let us vent and never disagree with us.

Translation: "We need a BB to vent to about how that Alpha just won't commit. Oh also don't have your own opinion."

(13) Never, ever tell us we are eating too much. Never. Don't. You will regret it.

WTF?! "it's okay that I weigh 4000 pounds."

(14) We are dramatic, we know. We are working on it, though. And we are sorry for this one.

Oh god.

(15) Girls will tell you often that they are "not like other girls." The ones who are actually different don't have to tell you a million times that they are different.

Okay so here we have an actual good piece of RP advice (although it may not have been meant to be that). We have all heard a girl tell us how different she is. Nope. AWALT. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

(16) Don't tweet your emotions. Please don't.

Yes that's pretty dumb. We ask you don't either.

(17) Don't ever tell a girl she looks tired. To girls, that means, "you look horrible and ugly; wow, I can tell you have no makeup on."

Translation: "don't blame us for having the 'thousand cock stare'"

(18) When you talk highly about your mom, we think it is attractive. It is a good sign you will treat us well, one day.

More AF/BB

(19) Call us beautiful and gorgeous. Don't just call us hot all the time. We do like to be told we are hot, but calling a girl beautiful has a better ring to it.

AF/BB

(20) When you talk about other girls being not cute and ugly, it is a major turn off. We begin to get insecure and assume you talk badly about us.

WRONG. Abundance mentality is a key factor in maintaining frame.

(21) A lot of girls say they are "not looking for a relationship". That does not mean if the right guy comes a long they will say no. These girls still would not pass down a great guy.

Translation: "this doesn't mean we will pass by Chad thundercock or Bead Pitt."

(22) If a girl has no girl friends, that's usually a bad sign. This is super important for y'all.

Lesbian girlfriends or...? But actually yes don't date a girl that "wants to be one of the guys"

(23) If you cannot figure out what to get a girl for a present, just plan a fun and personal date. That beats any price tag.

Bingo. Keyword - plan. Tell her where you two are going and what you are doing. She's just along for the ride.

(24) We like pictures. We like Insta-ing them and claiming you as our own. We like when you do the same, as well.

Translation: " We like the fact that we can get 20,000 likes in 10 minutes. It's our only source of happiness."

(25) Text us first. We get nervous texting you first. We shouldn't, but we do and love when guys make the first move.

God no. 3:1 ratio always.

(26) We don't always have to be doing something to be having fun. Sometimes, we just want to hang out and watch Netflix.

Translation: "We enjoy sitting with a tub of ice cream and increasing our hamplanet score"

(27) Sometimes we actually do want to pay for you. You don't have to always pay.

^ Surprisingly good advice.

(28) If we have a brother, you have to have his approval. No questions asked.

Bahahahahahahahaha

(29) When you meet my dad, you have to give him a firm handshake.

Also good advice. Maintaining frame is important, especially around the others family. A firm handshake is a cornerstone of frame.

(30)As cheesy as it is, we pray for the man we will end up with. And pray whoever you are that you are doing the same.

"We pray he'll still be there after we're done on the carousel.