I mainly wrote this post for the South Asian guys in this sub however anyone else can learn from it as well especially if they also come from a more conservative culture

Does anyone else notice that Desis (the men in particular) only emphasize connecting with their romantic partners in the form of traditional values and things like religious/educational affiliations? Or even secondarily they might even focus on mental/emotional connection?

There seems to be a complete disregard for the Physical Connection aspect of things.

This is basically shooting yourself in the foot

It makes the dating process difficult and basically narrows down your potential pool of partners because now you're only dating girls that come from a certain "religion" or "educational background". It also subtly sends a signal to all Non-Desis that you only like a "certain" type of girl. This makes it so that even if a Non-Desi girl is attracted to you, she will still have preconceived notions about what your "type" is and if she doesn't fit that mold then she will just avoid you and won't even really tell you that she's into you.

Furthermore it also creates this whole thing where South Asian men are expected to be career driven, extra responsible/family oriented e.t.c. This might be cool if you're older and looking for a wife, but when you're young and just wanna date around? Stuff like this makes you lose points because women usually only wanna do all that freaky shit with guys they see as "temporary".

This creates a lot of misconceptions

For example this is why a lot of Desis are so immersed in the idea that their career/money is important. It's because in our community if you're not doing great in your career then you're a complete loser. This makes guys have the misconception that Desi men have to "betabuxx". You don't have to betabuxx for shit. The main reason women use guys (of any race) for money is because these guys usually somehow brag to them about how much money they have or that they have some good career and now the woman knows that she can get money out of him by stroking his ego. That's how those dudes end up going on expensive dates and having stupid "intellectual discussions" and then end up going home and jerking off. Instead if this dude just talked about stuff other than his career, and instead of talking about money if he just wore a nice pair of shoes that compliments the rest of his outfit then he would be golden.

Why is it FAR better to pursue a Physical Connection than an Emotional/Mental/Any Other Connection

Simple. Because it's easy as fuck. To make a Physical connection, you just need to find the other person attractive and vice versa and satisfy each others physical needs (Which women have far more than you think). Furthermore just focusing on this aspect makes you seem more exciting and thrilling which makes the woman want you even more.

Intellectual connection? Bruh you both need to be well versed in World Issues and shit, and God forbid you have a different opinion from her on any topic because of your life experiences. If this happens too much she will automatically think you're ignorant.

Religious connection? Self explanatory unless you're a pastor who's tryna get with some deluded overly religious woman who thinks you're God in human form or something.

Emotional/Romantic connection? Now you need to fit into the laundry list of personalized standards in her head that's based on some movie or social media trend/posts that she May or May Not tell you, and if you make a mistake now you're "not being a good partner","I don't like how you're making me feel".

Also the more "religious/conservative" your culture is, if you approach women from a similar culture they will automatically try to make you wait for sex and try to shame you when you try to escalate. When these same women come across a guy from a sex positive culture they won't say anything negative and they'll suck the soul out of his dick because they know that his culture prioritizes the sexual connection so they won't really expect him to fulfil her intellectual/spiritual needs. Instead for those needs she will go to the "conservative" guy and then he's gonna be sexually frustrated by her and they're just gonna go on endless sexless dates and he's gonna go whine on the internet.

This actually negatively impacts men's mental health more

I've scoured through reddit and seen quite a few posts by South Asian guys talking about how they're upset at their lack of dating success, and then somewhere in the post they'll mention how they only want a University educated woman or some "conservative girl" or some girl who "doesn't participate in hookup culture". Like bro are you living in 2022 or what?? I can already tell that when these guys go on dates they probably try to talk about some stupid book or intellectual topic, and the girl will be interested for a bit but then get bored as fuck later on. And since these dudes don't really sexually escalate they fail to give a woman the "tingles" too. They're the type to go on like 3 dates without even kissing a girl.

The end result for these guys is that the best case scenario for them is going on like 4-5 dates or more with different girls and then talking about bs and then things fizzle out because there was "no connection". Then they get depressed and blame it on their race. I personally know I can create a connection with a good amount of girls even though I'm not similar to them in any way just by focusing on the physical aspect.

If anyone has seen the movie "Idiocracy" it is similar to that scene where all the "intellectual" type of people basically breed themselves out by not really having sex, and all the "lower intelligence" people conquer the world. No offence to anyone though.

Food for thought:

How many times have you stopped talking to/pursuing a girl because you realized that the relationship was going nowhere or because of some dumb cultural reason?

Think about your current/past relationships and what were the foundations of those relationships? Were you mostly emphasizing money? Romantic gestures? Adherence to a Religion? Following some political ideology together? Knowing this can help you realize where things went wrong and which aspects of the connection are better to focus on in future relationships.