Charismatic techniques 101- Controlling Frame.

TheLaughingRhino · 2016-10-23T02:41:53+00:00

My observation is the best way to get good/be effective at engaging people in general, including women, is to simply talk to as many people as possible.

This is where I think it gets tricky. I find that others I know who enjoy the understanding of human behavior will tend to practice engaging everyone. You can't do it if it feels like work ,and if there's nothing about it you enjoy, then that's what it will be - a chore, just another form of "work" for you.

One advantage I see in guys here on this subreddit is if they are here consistently, there is probably an aspect of them that questions and finds interest in human behavior, esp men and women dynamics. I also think the more a person desires to generally learn about the world around them, again, that reinforces the behavior into "habit" That's the thing, it only works if it happens organically, naturally and is your default behavior. Now you can work on it to get to that point, but at some level, you have to consider whether it operates with diminishing returns for you.

One factor that no one wants to really discuss is social tiers. If you associate with a social tier that most of society sees as "beneath your station" then they may tend to associate you with them. Thus lowering their view of you. While you can truly IDGAF, it will impact how they generally treat you. This is more of a factor in your dynamic of engaging with them, if you choose to do so.

What has helped me get over some of my shyness around women and women I find attractive is just learning to talk to them like everyone else, and you can only practice that by talking to everyone like they are everyone else.

Like anything else, I say give it a shot, get out of your comfort zone, see if it works for you. But if it doesn't, then there's nothing wrong not being the guy who talks to everyone.

Feeling good about yourself or bad about yourself, to my experience, is like heat and cold. If you feel good about yourself, that "heat" radiates off and people will notice it and respond to that energy. If you feel like crap and hate yourself, that "cold" radiates out and no one wants to commiserate with you except other unhappy people.

To talk to anyone and everyone, you have to let go. IDGAF shifts more into you can think and gossip about me behind my back, but never to my face. And whether you do or don't, I'm going to do what makes me happy, what I want to do here.

Football quote - Act like you've been there before ( i.e. when you score a touchdown)

A lot of people who work on talking to everyone, I've noticed, in the beginning, don't factor in the aggression aspect of it. You are being a bit bold, a bit aggressive, you are edging the line of socially acceptable boundaries. Most people are not free/liberal with compliments. Most people are wrapped in their own issues. You can have an entire 4 hour conversation with someone who will never ask you how you are doing the whole time. Part of not getting mentally exhausted is to talk to everyone, but only keep talking to people you can clearly engage. Some people don't want to be engaged. Some people don't have the skill set. Some people lack both.

Most people don't like confrontation. Most people, since they have no practice at it, have no real skills in how to effectively deal with confrontation. If you want to engage with people in a memorable way ( i.e they are thinking about you , what you said and how you made them feel even long after you are gone that day), you generally, to my opinion, have to violate their boundaries.

I've asked people if their former relationship hit them. Or if they've regretted having kids. Or if they chose poorly in their marriage. Something I learned from George Carlins comedy ( which is quite astute about human behavior) is that no subject is taboo if it's operated with in context. Grape Nuts dry will tear up your mouth, and you'll feel like you eating gravel. Mix it with yogurt and now you have lubricant to drive it down your throat. To me, that's all normally taboo subjects are about, find a way to "lubricate" something that normally would make a person choke.

Other observations

Never reveal much about yourself, other than to offer a way to relate in order to give the person ease to talk about themselves more
Don't take it personally they want to talk about their favorite subject ( THEM) and let them run on their own momentum.
Let the QUESTIONS YOU ASK form their opinion of you, since you aren't revealing much. The context and depth of the questions operate as a way to show your value and your convictions in a flexible way that offers no judgement
Judge in your mind, if you want, but never judge out loud and give no expression that offers judgement ( its why I cannot do well speaking to current/former alcoholics, I cannot maintain personal objectivity) If you can't get around judging, this is a person you have to avoid talking to, nothing good will come from it
It has to amuse you, to engage people, because honestly, most people are boring and most people are selfish and most people have nothing interesting to say. However their EXPERIENCES, are often things you can learn from. Embrace the potential to learn and not the people, the people are just vessels for those lessons.
Take clean shots, watch your background ( Actually that's nonsense, well not really. Basic Psychology 101, in terms of Primacy and Latency, people tend to remember their initial interaction with someone and the last bit of the interaction. I.E. why big blockbuster movies usually have a gigantic opening scene then a big event finale. ) If you are going to decide to compliment someone, my observation is to do it to start, then do it at the end.
Do women like it? Well, I fully believe just work on being the best version of you as a person, and if women are attracted to you as a side benefit of that, then great. I do think most women are attracted to people that others are attracted to, i.e. social proofing. If she sees you engaging with everyone around you, with no regard to status, I suspect that will have a disarming quality. It's not what you are doing, it's what you are doing in terms of how it impacts how she feels about herself.

I find the art of effective conversation to be about learning to humanize yourself while simultaneously dehumanizing everyone else around you ( i.e. there is nothing to fear with social anxiety, these people in front of you are only vessels) .

Title	Charismatic techniques 101- Controlling Frame.
Author	DTFarm
Upvotes	8
Comments	1
Date	October 23, 2016 12:15 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/58w2mx/charismatic_techniques_101_controlling_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/charismatic-techniques-101-controlling-frame.63870 https://theredarchive.com/post/63870

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