At work, in our leadership development courses we've got quite alot of training in how to spot, motivate and negotiate with different personality types. Since finding TRP & the manosphere, I've been doing alot of thinking about the things that make my relationship work and the areas where it does not.

My wife is ISTJ. I am ENTP.

My easy conclusion (pre-RP) is that we are more or less opposites (apart from sharing a preference for objective criteria) and compliment each other: happy days right? When I started the RP journey out, I thought she was attracted to me not only because of the SMV I had, but also because I brought excitement, novelty and change into her life. I rocked her boat as much as I rocked her body.

After digesting alot of the manosphere literature though, an alternate conclusion is that AWALT...and the main reason my wife is relatively easy to deal with and get along with is that her personality type merely mitigates many of the "female" impulses she has, and that the simple reason we get on so well is that she's just less irrational in her behavior. She pretty much fulfills every ISTJ stereotype. She is reasonably introverted and doesn't make friends easily, has a graduate degree in a STEM field, does logic puzzles for fun - she is intensely loyal and faithful - and though she initially didn't want children (until surprise surprise she hit her early 30s when she did a skidding, smoke billowing, whiplash inducing U-turn of epic proportions), takes her responsibility to our children almost overboard. At the same time, she prefers my leadership, and given that I am loyal also is willing to accept my frame in most things apart from those things she considers her own sphere - her career, the house, child-rearing, and the baking of cupcakes.

So what does TRP think - in terms of LTR mate selection criteria...

Does one look for an "opposite" Myers-Briggs personality?

Or does one look for one of the "logical" personality types?

Once in a LTR, in order to bring back more mojo to a relationship, do you ...

Emphasize RP things she will value

( in my case emphasize strong leadership, a firm hand with the kids, strong planning like taking absolute control of things like days out or holidays), and avoid things that will make an ISTJ uncomfortable like dread game.

or RP things that "rock the boat" again,

bring in a little bit of dread by picking up new activities & friends that dont neccessarily include her or respond lightly to flirtations and focus on things that will excite her. (eg. surprise her with things/days out that might be scary like bungee jumping, take her to a club (at our age),

Edit: formatting