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ich_bin_doch_geil
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[–]OGlancellannister3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Being honest, your long-term prospects seem relatively doomed in most cases should you pursue femdom relationships. Not all the time, but most of the time, this is just going against biology and evolution. It's difficult enough to manage a relationship long-term as it is these days; it's much harder to remain dominant and demand respect outside of the bedroom when you spent the last hour taking a strap-on and begging for release.
Scratching an itch does not sate it, usually in these cases it reinforces the fetish, so if it's something you want to snuff out, it doesn't make sense to indulge it. Anyways, take everything you read with a grain of salt, including my advice. I could always be wrong, but I'd imagine 95%+ of monogamous relationships have little lasting potential if you structure them this way.
[–]ich_bin_doch_geil[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you are right about it being much harder to "remain dominant" as you put it. But that would be only a failure on my part, and as such, I should own that and fix it.
The thing is, I dont want to snuff it out. Believe me, I've tried, and the desires always come back -- be it 6 months, a year, or two or however long. From personal experience, it doesnt make sense to fight it.
[–]aanarchist3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
red pill style you are the prize. you can lead from the bottom like she's working to satisfy you because she wants to keep you. if you are valuable, women will do whatever it takes to please you. i knew a dude who was a sexual submissive and he was the most alpha ass dude i've ever known, unique sense of style, fit, strong personality but chill at the same time. just understand the difference between an alpha sub and like the wimpy cuckolds that a lot of women take on. with one the woman will take satisfaction in dominating you and pleasuring you, with the other the woman will take satisfaction in abusing you. you can bet your ass the dude i was talking about will leave if the woman crosses his boundaries. he lets a woman do things to him with his consent, if she crosses the line she is gone and someone else will replace her.
[–]ich_bin_doch_geil[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That last sentiment is basically how I feel. If she were to cross the line (eg cheat or disrespect in front of colleges, family or non-kinky friends or what have you) I would not let that slide.
For some reason, I dont like the term "Alpha Sub". It seems to me to signify failing to accept themselves and come to terms with what they like.
I think, and you probably understand this, that embracing their masculine energy is what makes the difference between those two archtypes you offerred. I certainly embrace mine.
I suppose I am really wondering where the pitfalls are, and how to mitigate them or avoid them completely if possible while still enjoying what I like. Any experiences or even second hand knowledge like you gave here is quite valuable.
[–]aanarchist1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
it's no different than any vanilla relationship. bad women make bad relationships. as much as rp betas on here demonize honesty(they want you to be a nice guy like them and just stuff it all down until you become unstable), you have to give her direct feedback on how something she does affects you and what you want and don't want. if she wants you in your life she will take that feedback and use it to make improvements to your relationship in a way that directly benefits you, if she doesn't want you in her life she will do the opposite and as a man with healthy self esteem and boundaries you are ready to walk if you are not treated properly.
[–]zambetis2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Your kink is simply irreconcilable with TRP principles. Why do you need an LTR with a domme anyway? Why not just pay a professional dominatrix you can visit once in a while?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fuck, you beat me to it! Was just going to say that if he really is that desperate why not just pay for it, not that I'd really recommend it, but needs must.
I tried that. Believe me when I say it is just not the same. You don't have a real connection, you both don't know what gets the other off really, and you never know if they are clean if it were to include sex play.
[–]zambetis0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It sounds like it's more than just a kink, you enjoy the lifestyle of submitting to a dominant woman. If that gets you off, who am I to judge. However, in expecting this woman to also remain faithful to you, it's like chasing a unicorn.
It's well documented how high in demand dominatrices are because there aren't many women who genuinely enjoy being dominant. The minority of women with a genuinely sadistic nature are making tons keeping low-esteem chumps under their spiked louboutins. Not sure how far your tastes go but I don't think you'll find your happiness there.
But it's not going anywhere, that urge of yours, so you should embrace it... as a kink, a strictly sexual activity. Don't try to transfer it into a relationship and a lifestyle. Most women would run for the hills if they had to be dominant in anything really.
[–]NeoreactionSafe2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Remember that you choose the addictive patterns you repeat.
The penis is designed to be masculine and dominant... that's nature.
The vagina is designed to be feminine and submissive... that's nature.
The deeper question is:
Lucifer (as the story goes) learns of Natural Law and freaks out and wants to escape it's beauty and harmony. He rebels from Natural Law and devotes himself to the subversion of it.
Lucifer "Enjoys the Decline".
By contrast the Amused Mastery mode is to accept Natural Law and be aware of the criminal nature of the feminine and find ways to Game it and be in harmony with it... to master it.
The love of Natural Law creates the "Enjoy the Destruction" mindset where you enjoy breaking down the Blue Pill mythology in order to return to beauty and harmony.
Red Pill is about Free Will so you must choose your path.
Maybe you prefer hell?
[–]Coach-Red-Pill1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Poor bastard.
/head shake
Look, what you crave is essentially being passive and submissive. Your sexual proclivities demand you be passive and submissive. Whereas those who are red pilled are often as not young men who have been conditioned to be passive and submissive—but yet want to be dominant and aggressive.
Hence these young men are here, learning how to be dominant and aggressive.
So frankly I don't see any way to reconcile your needs with the goals or TRP.
This is just my opinion.
Best of luck.
[–]Billee_Boyee0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Someone already said it, but you just pay a pro. It's a lot of work to be a Domme (or Dom), and most women want no part.
There are good looking, skilled professionals in your area. It is not even illegal, so long as there is no sexual contact (may vary by state).
At best you will find an LTR who is willing to act the part for a while, but when she divorce rapes you it'll cost much more than the pro would have.
So is the implication that she WILL divorce rape me simply because of our arrangement?
I never said I wanted a Domme 24/7, just in the sexual/physical arena. Does that still lead to divorce rape?
Women are women. They will branch swing and look for the highest SMV they can get, Domme or not. I think alot of guys forget this fact. So, in my mind, choosing to get involved with one needs to have been approved by the same checklist that any other woman needs to pass. I think having such a business oriented mindset is more protective against divorce rape than simply being her being sexually submissive.
[–]Billee_Boyee0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What I'm saying is very, very, very few women want to be a Domme, you are relegating yourself to a splinter demographic. If you find a woman to wife up that is willing to play the part, it will wear her out.
It's hard to respect a guy whose balls you literally have in a vice. Divorce rape is what happens once she loses respect. Her hamster will spin it into contempt and not only will you be divorce raped, she'll make sure to gossip about your proclivities the minute she decides you are history.
'A prostitute is a prostitute. You don't pay 'em to come to you. You pay them to go away.' - Chef
[–]turok281-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This has to be a troll. If you are not then, no. You can't be red pill and a fag at the same time. Whatever trauma makes you do this, you need to fix yourself ASAP. Good luck.
[–]ich_bin_doch_geil[S] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Where did I say I was a fag?
And suppose I was, does being gay automatically preclude you from being red pilled? They can't help how they are born you know.
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[–]OGlancellannister3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ich_bin_doch_geil[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aanarchist3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ich_bin_doch_geil[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]aanarchist1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zambetis2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ich_bin_doch_geil[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]zambetis0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NeoreactionSafe2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Coach-Red-Pill1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Billee_Boyee0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ich_bin_doch_geil[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Billee_Boyee0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]turok281-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ich_bin_doch_geil[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link