Yesterday I wrote a post entitled Local Bar ONS. In it I recommended that every RP man should get himself a wingman. I was SHOCKED by how many guys messaged me saying not only did they not have a single wingman, but they seemed to have no idea how to get one.

For all those guys, this post is for you. I'm going to give you the process and mentality I had when finding good wings.

Mentality

Wings Are Important

Obviously the first mindset you need to have is that having a wing is important, otherwise you won't follow any of this advice. Having a wing is important if for no other reason than men are meant to do activities together. We are tribal creatures and we bond through shared experience.

In terms of practicality, if you can't approach or resist going out, a wingman is someone who can kick your ass when you're not up to it. Like a gym buddy who forces you to do that rep you don't want to. A wing also raises your SMV because high value men hang around other high value men. They're not fucking loners.

It's a numbers game

Some guys you meet are going to have shitty game. Some guys you'll meet will have good game but you just won't get along outside of that. And some guys will just suck all around.

Do not let this deter you. There are solid guys out there, you just have to sort though all the bullshit before you find someone you mesh well with. And yes I realize that sounds like advice you'd get from a female dating column.

Be open minded

I can't stress this enough. So many times I've met a guy and thought he would be a shit wing. But then two months later, we're crushing it together and now he's a good friend. So don't be so quick to judge people.

Always Be Looking

Guys drop out of the game all the time. They get bored. They get married. They move. If you aren't making new wings consistently you will lose them eventually. I'm not saying you need to look every day but keep it in mind. You don't want to get to a situation where you have no wings and you have to start over from scratch. It's always easier when you already have wings to find wings.

Process

Who Should You Look For?

There are a couple qualities I look for in wingman:

  • Positive

  • Fun

  • Social

  • Willing To Approach

That is it. They don't need to be explicitly RP because you really shouldn't be talking about game infield anyway. Any skill level in terms of game is fine as long as they meet those criteria because you can find value in all types of skill levels.

Where to find wings

  • Online pickup forums (RSDnation, Seddit, Pick-up-artist-forum.com, etc)

  • Bars / clubs

  • Social Circle

These are really the three options I explored. Yes I know pickup guys aren't explicitly RP but as I said you don't need them to be. Once you already have wings, you can usually meet new wings through them. Hence gaining wings through social circle.

How To Get Them To Be Your Wing

If you're hitting the online forums it shouldn't be that hard. Find a guy who is looking for a wing in your area, message him, get his number and go out. Simple. Otherwise advertise that you're looking for a wing and let guys come to you.

If you're doing it in person (i.e looking for wingman at venues like bars or clubs) then it's a little different. The first thing to remember is that if you notice a guy who is obviously gaming, he's not very good at it. Game is often subtle and guys who are good at it tend to look like just regular cool guys.

Once you've found the guy, approach him with a similar philosophy as in fucking a girl. Just like you don't walk up to a girl and say "hey, wanna fuck?" you don't walk up to a guy and say "can you be my wing???". No.

Make friends first. I usually like to open with something every guy can relate to, like a comment on the quality of women in the venue or something else obvious. You just need to break the ice so you can build a connection. Find out if he knows game. Even if he doesn't, if he meets those four qualities I mentioned above then he's good to go. Approach some girls right then and there if he's up for it. See what kind of rapport you have.

If he's a guy with way better game than you, that's okay. But it's critical to remember that YOU MUST BRING VALUE TO THE RELATIONSHIP. It doesn't matter how. Maybe you're just a super fun guy. Maybe you're an approach machine and he's kind of burnt out because he's been doing it so long. Maybe you make great french toast. It doesn't fucking matter but he needs to get something out of it. Otherwise why should he wing you?

If the guy is a worse skill than you, don't get deterred. As I just mentioned, even newbies can bring value. But obviously feel free to drop them if they aren't holding up their end of the bargain.

Setting Ground Rules

Every good wing relationship needs rules about what is cool and what isn't. The rules themselves aren't that important as they are that you have some. So once you have a wing, start setting them up. Some examples of rules:

  • Whoever opens the set controls the set

  • No AMOGing each other

  • AMOGing encouraged

  • Alternate opening

So and so forth. Usually the simpler the better.

Conclusion

Follow this guide and you will have wings in no time. Now I'll take my own advice and say that anyone who is looking for a wing and wants to join my crew, feel free to shoot me a PM. If it turns out you're in my area we might be able to make it happen.