Summary:

One of my recent FR after reading TRP for 2 months. Planning doing once a week to share some progress and insights. Also showing community that not everybody is fucking HB10 24/7 from the start.

Body:

Some quick background: 25+ years, tall, consider myself good looking. Have been doing sports but have a slender build, started going to gym to correct posture (neck and shoulders). Never been in the dating scene, past girlfriends always came to me, so didn´t really needed effort. Been alone for a few years to “know myself”, now want to experience and conquer the whole relationship thing (Plates spinning, sex,…) and keep improving myself in any sense possible. Started going to Toastmasters to work on public speaking and leadership. Field report starts here.

After the session of TM, 6 of us went for a drink. Since it was my first day my priority was establishing myself in the group and feeling the social dynamics. HB7 started talking to me and I maintained my frame, alternating between her, and the group. Sat in the middle of them and was subtly maintaining dominance (speaking to the president, asking questions to timid men next to me to incorporate him, now and then joking with HB7).

Everybody paid their drinks and ran off, leaving me with the girl outside. Asked where she was heading, and joined her having a playful conversation. Was planning to meet another girl, but she didn´t answered the call. At this moment HB7 was getting ready to go to her home, so I thought, “fuck it, let´s do this”.

Asked if she wanted to drink something and took leading role. One of the things I learned is that there is no such thing as acting correctly. I act, and it is correct because I fucking do it. That mindset is helping me a lot. Strolled around the city and instead of letting her chose I decided to go to X place. While walking the conversation was nice, and I was having a good time. In some context told her my birthday was today, and showed some messages from friends to prove it.

We sat down in a bar but the tables were positioned to sit in front of each other. PUA knowledge knocked in and I moved a chair to sit at 90º at her left. This was interesting because it was a strange move, even creepy, but I kept in the mindset of “whatever I do is correct, because I do it” and didn´t cared. Kept talking having some fun, but I got tired.

Maintaining the high energy level I need to “flow” with the conversation is exhausting. At some point I thought: “I really don´t care about the food in your country, why all the bothering?”. Decided to see if this was getting somewhere or if I was just wasting time.

Asked if she had any plans later and she answered that she was going home. “So, no more adventures tonight?”, seeing if there was any sign of interest. Didn´t noticed, so I asked for the check, each paid their share and I walked her to the bus stop. She asked me what I was doing, and I tolled I didn´t knew, probably going home or wander for a while. Thought about asking her number, but since I didn´t see any interest from her decided not to and just said goodbye.

Lessons learned

Okay, it´s hard to transmit feelings of the whole situation, but this is what I wrote down later.

(+)

  • Good conversation, dominance in social dynamics, frame constantly maintained.
  • Treating strange situations with normality, they become normal. (“Humiliation is humiliation only if one chose to suffer”).

(-)

  • Didn´t show sexual interest should have made some hints. “I do pilates” -> “Yeah, you have a nice body”, instead of “Nice, any other sports you like?”.
  • Lowered my SMV several times: friend didn´t answered my call in front of her, no plans for my birthday, nothing to do when she leaves. Shouldn´t indicate I need her, she could be feeling sorry for me and just keeping me company because it was my bd. Always have plans. “What are you going to do?” -> “Meeting some friends later on”, instead of “I don´t know, wander around”.

To round this up: my priority is getting in a lot of situations where I can analyse myself and improve. Could have done this better? Yes. Many of the guys here could have taken her home? So they say. Well, I can´t. I´m just a simple mortal getting there. But I will eventually.

Any questions about the context of stuff feel free to ask.

(edit: formatting)