Wow. Where do I start? This might be a little bit of a rant post, but it's been a rough few days.

I just graduated High School. Discovered TRP after getting friendzoned by the girl that I thought was the one. Absolutely devastated and crushed me, but I'm not one to quit.

I've always been a disciplined kid. I began lifting heavy in January and every school morning I'll wake up at 4:30am and go train. After that, I'll go to school. I have fairly decent grades. I graduated with a 3.8GPA. I'm going to a local school (with a campus), because I know that if I go away, I won't be able to focus on my grades. I started reading Robert Greene, started to spend more time out with my friends, and in my time being more social in the past month, I've seen and learned a lot.

Shortly after I discovered TRP, something funny happened. I stopped caring. I started living my life like a soldier. I'd wake up, go train, go to school, and in the hour and a half break that I had inbetween school and work, I'd eat and read. I'd come home and go to sleep so I could be up early. After a solid 2 weeks of this, something funny happened. See, I usually packed lunches, but one day, I forgot to. I ended up going to Chipotle because it's the least shittiest fast food I could get in my neighborhood.

While I was in Chipotle, I ran into a girl from middle school. We started chatting and she ended up asking me for my number. Fast forward a week. Keep in mind, I haven't even swallowed the pill at this point. Hell, at the time of me writing this, I haven't even come close. I'm still learning and trying to, but anyone could talk the talk. Nonetheless, couldn't close at her place. Fucked up and ended up getting close but I escalated incorrectly. No big deal. Funniest part? She let me begin escalating even though she has a boyfriend. Keep that boyfriend part in mind.

While I was ghosting her post-blue-ball, I started to talk to a lot of other girls. I found it funny how TYPICAL they were now. I found myself flushed with anger toward women, only to keep telling myself that a spade is a spade. You can't be angry. Still, though. It hurts, you know? You realize that you've got a mom, maybe a sister... A cousin... Whatever. Let's go back to Chipotle girl. It's 11:00PM and I'm hanging out with some friends. She texts me asking me what I'm doing. Here's where it gets funny:

I tell her I'm busy. In reality, all I had to do that day was train. After that, I was free. I tell her that if she wants to see me, she's better off coming out now. She meets up with me and we split up from my friends. Now, after escalating incorrectly, I friendzoned her hard. We split up and we were talking and I often referred to her as my 'pal' or my 'friend'. We get to a park, and after a few minutes, her shorts are off and I'm fingering her. The girl with a boyfriend. The boyfriend who looks like a skeleton. The one who doesn't lift. The one who gives a fuck. You're honestly gonna look at me, a high schooler, and tell me that hypergamy isn't real? No way.

It was weird, though. Standing in an alleyway, getting blown by a girl that "loves her boyfriend so much!!!" didn't even feel good. I felt empty. I felt angry. I felt angry at her. At everything she embodies. I felt disgust. Repulsed.

Whatever. Her boyfriend is visiting her right now. Ghosted her. Point is, I'm repulsed. I started speaking to new girls and I'm learning to battle my approach anxiety. I've gotten rejected, I've gotten some numbers, but at the end of the day, I look at it as a game I play.

I look at people differently now, though. The world has a gigantic blue pilled view on how things are. I see women turning their husbands into shells. I see girls bossing around their men. I see men folding under pressure. I see so much now and it makes me angry. Sometimes, I wish I was a normal kid my age. I wish all I thought about was jerking off and Doritos. I wish I could sit at home all day and play Call of Duty.

I didn't sign up for this shit. It's so hard, but I will not crumble. No. Not yet. I've made it through way too much.

Next year, I will be a college freshman. To all my brothers that have given me advice, thank you. I cannot and will not fail you.

Just wanted to share my first month's experience with ya'll.