FR: Combating Approach Anxiety

GoinDownDaRabbitHole

August 10, 2013

1 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	FR: Combating Approach Anxiety
Author	GoinDownDaRabbitHole
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	August 10, 2013 4:47 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1k2nzo/fr_combating_approach_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/fr-combating-approach-anxiety.233452 https://theredarchive.com/post/233452

[–]rugbytitsandmedicine 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Works for me. Here's the contents:

One of the things that I need to work on most is approach anxiety. I, like many others, have a sensation that’s close to fear when trying to talk to strangers. I figured the first step in regard to women is to remove this sensation and be able to talk to people freely. The fine gents on IRC tasked me with this: talk to 12 different people over the course of a week. Not bad, that’s at least 1 person/group a day. This depression, however, put me in a bit of a bind and I put it off until the weekend. Luckily, my depression is kicked and I decided “I’m going out to a bar tonight!” Luckily, there’s one two minutes from my apartment. I get off work, head to the grocery store to get my dinner (orange chicken), and make my meal. It was a lot for one person to eat, so after I got done, I was extremely tired. I set an alarm for when I wanted to get up to go to the bar, and fell asleep. Woke up two hours past when my alarm went off so I got up, shaved, brushed teeth, and went to this bar. The live band was playing all of the types of music I like, but I couldn’t get into a groove. I sat there, listening to the music and pretending to watch TV until I spotted someone in my peripheral vision. I found these two girls, both in their 30’s or 40’s. One of them was extremely hot, the other seemed like a person I’d get along with, but not want to get in bed with. I wanted to go over and talk to them, but my anxiety did something it doesn’t usually do.

Usually, with my anxiety, if I see someone attractive, my mind goes into depression mode. “Why would she want to talk to you? She’s hot and you look like you haven’t seen daylight in fifteen years. She’s not interested in fucking Dracula. Don’t bother.” So, I would just get depressed and behold from afar. But tonight, I felt the fear in physical form. I couldn’t move my body, and I couldn’t commit to moving. I tried, but my legs were paralyzed. Was I going to have all of this for nothing and waste $5 on a cover fee just to watch TV that I can do in the comfort of my own home? No. Not tonight. I was a man on a mission. I was trying to gauge the conversation’s pace, trying to find an opening where I wasn’t interrupting, but the bartender talked to them a lot and some other people approached them (one or two). After a little while (half hour, maybe), the hot one leaves the table and I find my opening. I grab the barstool next to the one to the hot chick was sitting on and ask the other one, “So, what you think of this band?” The conversation was really light, I asked her what she did for a living, if coming to the bar was a special occasion, blah, blah, blah. Eventually, the hot one comes back, notices me, and gives me a quick smile. She sits down and we introduce ourselves. The bartender comes back and sees I don’t have a drink and asks me if I want one. Bud Light.

The hot one seemed like a real bombshell. She was really wacky and wasn’t hesitant on kino with me (at one point they played “tag” with some other guy, the two girls, me, and the bartender. By the time I got tagged, it was over). They overall seemed like a pretty energetic bunch. The other one left for a tiny bit (I guess to mingle). The hot one turns to me and says “Yeah, we like to harass each other.” She laughs and I give a smile and she says, “Do you like to be harassed?” It caught me completely off-guard. I didn’t know how to respond. “Yeah, I like it when people pick on me?” Yeah, no. And disagreeing with her would kill the mood. So, I fire back a neutral (and evasive) response: “Every now and again.” She fires back, “So do you like to be harassed sexually or…like, mentally?” I could tell by her question that “mentally” was an after-thought. That, or she was too drunk to remember the word “mentally”. Either way. My goal wasn’t hooking up tonight, but rather crushing this fear. So, I respond: “Either or.” and shoot her a smile. She smiles back and goes back to her beer. She later gets shots and offers me the rest of her beer (half-full) because it was warm. I don’t care about the temperature of beer, so I chug it down.

After a little while longer, the other one comes back and they go back to the dance floor. I use this opportunity to get up and leave the bar. The conversation wasn’t flowing as naturally as I’d hoped, and then seemed like the perfect time to ghost. I could’ve opened another set and taken care of more of my weekly requirement, but the conversation took a lot of bravery from me to conquer my approach anxiety. I’ve got two days to do 11 approaches, so I guess I’m doing some window-shopping at the mall and more bar visits.

[–]rugbytitsandmedicine 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]boner_drone 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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