There is one important rule when dealing with women and that is 'watch what she does, not what she says'

I'll go one step further ahead today and talk about the basics of verbal subcommunication, based on a conversation I had a couple of days ago at Uni

What is verbal subcommunication? It's the underlying message that we send in any interaction.

This is a skill you need to master and takes a lots of time, most people in my class could not tell what was going on here.

  • Me: So how's your dieting going?
  • HB: Not so well.
  • Me: I've got an spare tangerine today, have it. (the previous day I also gave her one) **I hand it to her
  • HB: I'm not going to eat it
  • Me: It's a gift, you can bin it or give it to someone else if you want. **She takes it
  • HB: Do you give fruit to everyone?
  • Me: Just to you
  • HB: Sure.. **cuts visual contact
  • Me: Proceed to tell a story of a bulimic gf-ex and how I made her go to the shop with me to buy some fruit and she would send me pictures of her eating it like a happy child looking for approval.
  • HB: That's sad bla bla bla. I bet she was thin.
  • Me: Couple of extra kilos (this girl also has a couple of extra kilos)
  • Random guy accross the room: Do you still talk to her?
  • Me: Nah, why would I?
  • HB: Why not?
  • Me: She's no longer my gf

Ok I want you to take 3 minutes to analyze the conversation.

Here's what happened: Disclaimer: I am no expert, I may be wrong in some things

This girl thinks I am a complete Chad/player because I flirt with girls around Uni and shes is not into ONS/FB

Translation:

  • Me: Are you consistent? Do you take care of your body?
  • HB: I Don't take care of my body that much (I know she is kind of consistent as she has recently broke up with a 3 year bf)
  • Me: (Tangerine) 'I expect you to take care of your body' and intentionally show BB traits (In reality I'm no chad, it's what she thinks)
  • HB: I don't think I can, but if it's you I may have to do it. Also shit tests to see if I am serious about what I expect from her and to see if I get butthurt for rejecting it.
  • HB: Are you really interested in me or just want to pump and dump me like you do with other girls?
  • Me: I am interested just in you. (which is kind of a lie but I am seriously considering her for more than a ONS)
  • HB: *Sees through the lie and that's why she negs me breaking eye contact and looking at her phone.
  • Me: (Story) I don't choose my LTR's very well, but I can take care of a woman, tell her what to do and lead in a relationship.
  • HB: ('I bet she was thin') You are shallow and only like hot women. I know I'm not that hot and makes me feel insecure.
  • Me: (extra kilos) I not only care about physical appearance if we are talking about a LTR
  • Random guy (do you still talk to her?)
  • Me: I dont talk to people who no longer add value to my life (keep in mind that here they could understand something else relative to their beliefs, for example: 'I am butthurt because she dumped me' or whatever

Quick steps on how to become a better subcommunicator

Ask yourself the following questions after you've had any conversation.

  1. What were we talking about?

Relationships, work, wealth, health... Keep in mind that the place is key, this happened in a public place and that's why we used covert language

  1. What did I subcommunicate during the exchange?

Ask yourself if you are being honest (women like men who are honest about their intentions)

  1. What did she subcommunicate?

This is where her actions come into play, do her words match her actions? If not, she normally lies

EDIT:

  1. Enter conversations with a goal

Do you know why most women hate small talk? Because it provides no value, no information, nothing. This does not mean that you have to plan all your conversations in advance, but if you want to talk to that cute girl remember why you are doing so