I grew up as a shy kid, and didn't have any experiences with girls in high school. Later on in college, I joined a sports team and got in pretty good shape. My game and confidence still sucked, so I was getting zero action even though some girls showed interest in me. During my senior year, I finally started getting success after using Tinder. I lost my virginity, and quickly started sleeping with a bunch of girls. For a year, I had a bunch of ONS and flings. It was a crazy feeling, having girls my old self would have seen as "out of my league" telling me I could do whatever I wanted to them in bed.

After a while, having a bunch of ONS and flings started to feel unfulfilling to me. Going on a Tinder date with a girl and banging her til one of us got bored started to lose its appeal.

5 months ago, I ended up meeting a girl (let's call her B) who I clicked with almost immediately. We quickly started sleeping together and spending our weekends together. When we started dating, I was already casually seeing another girl who wanted to be in a relationship with me, so I cut it off with her to be in a relationship with B.

Things started off being incredible with B. She'd come over most nights of the week to have sex, and on weekends we spent a lot of time exploring different parts of our city. We went to concerts, festivals, all sorts of stuff. Everything was new and exciting with her -- an experience I really craved after only having experiences with casual sex/flings in the past. She treated me like a king at the time, always bringing over thoughtful presents and cooking for me.

The only issue -- she wasn't going to be around. She had plans to study abroad in South America (planned out way before we met), and I had known that before she left. She made all sorts of promises to me, that she's going to visit me every month, Facetime me every day, etc. I bought into the "fantasy" of this long-distance thing working, but little did I know at the time, things would quickly fall apart.

The moment she got to her new country, she started getting distant. It felt like shit, knowing that the girl who used to tell me every day that she can't wait to see me and that she loves me, now barely has time to talk to me. The day she landed in her new country, I knew the end was near.

Sometimes she'd start showing me lots of affection like usual, and we even planned a vacation in Thailand. However, most of the time she was distant, and I started getting insecure/jealous that she was slipping away from me more and more. We had our first argument (where I lost frame), and she started acting extra weird for a few weeks after. I noticed she was starting to follow a lot of local guys in Instagram, and took note of that. Then, a friend who happened to be in her city for vacation found her on Tinder.

I called her out on it and dumped her. Something I'm pretty surprised I managed to do, because just a year ago she probably still would have had me by the balls. Looking back, this whole relationship was doomed from the very start because she was moving away. Even though I played all my cards right at the beginning of the relationship, none of that mattered when I stopped being around for her. At least I'll get to have fun on my own for this upcoming Thailand trip.

Lessons learned:

  • No matter how well a girl treats you, you basically stop existing when you aren't around for her

  • Any promises a girl makes for you are irrelevant -- watch her behavior and how much effort she puts into keeping those promises

  • Once you show weakness or insecurity, your once faithful girl will start looking out for other options to replace you

  • If a girl disrespects you or your relationship, she leaves with you with two choices: dump her or forever be her doormat

  • Having high SMV and frame at the start of the relationship can't make up for being weak later on